Falling Into The Dreamcatcher's Arms
by Katerzzzz
Summary: Read on to find out. CHAPTER 29 UP!
1. A Different Proposal

_**New Story! And on this one I finally place a disclaimer and summary!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these chracters, except Freddie, Sarah, Benji and Lily Wilde, Edward Andrews, Catie and Emily Murdoch, Andrew and Richard Lightoller, the rest of the charcters that appear in this fic either belong to James Cameron, or history. **_

_**Summary: Meet Helen Andrews, wife of Thomas Andrews, (I changed the ages, he's 31, she's 28) .When she and her husband travel on the "Titanic", Helen is trying hard to keep up appearances at the dinner table with the likes of Bruce Ismay and all the SNOBS, until she bumps into one Henry Wilde, or as he is nicknamed by the stewardesses, The Dreamcatcher, over the four days of Titanics existence, her friendship with Henry blossoms into love, but deep down, she doesn't want to hurt Thomas, Henry makes her see the world in a new light, and she will remain eternally grateful to him for that. She is torn between two that fateful night, whether to love her children's father, or love the Officer. The Dreamcatcher. Her Dreamcatcher. **_

One

9th April 1912

6:15 pm

Helen sighed deeply as she looked at herself in the mirror in the hallway of Ismay Manor.

"Not long now" she whispered to herself. In fact, it wasn' very long at all, in less than 24 hours, she would board the largest ocean liner in the world, travel over to New York, come back, then go home to Belfast. _Belfast_ it wasn't her childhood home, her childhood home had been here in Southampton, but oh how she'd give anything to be back there now.

Then, the two great double doors behind her opened and her husband stepped into view. He looked _very _dashing in a tuxedo, with his dark grey hair slicked back. His blue eyes became warm and loving when she smiled at him.

Helen turned round and said "How do I look?"

Thomas smiled at her "You look lovely" he offered her his arm. She took it, her husband was looking at the floor as he led her into the great dining room "There is one other thing..." he faltered "Mr. Ismay has a proposal for us both"

"What kind of proposal?" Helen asked.

"God knows, hopefully it doesn't concern the children" Thomas said, he took Helen's hand that was resting on his arm and whispered "Don't worry, I'm sure it won't be that bad"

"Of course. But I've just got a bad feeling about this"

Thomas smiled his unforgettable smile and said "Well, if you've got a bad feeling, so have I"

Dinner was mostly talking about the looming maiden voyage. And Helen was beginning to enjoy it until Ismay hushed the room "Thomas has probably told you I have a proposal for you both" he looked at Helen and gave his wiry, creepy smile.

Helen sat rigid as Ismay continued "As you know, our 18 year old son, Johnathan, is looking for a bride, and we thought of no one better than your daughter, Elizabeth!"

Helen gasped, she looked to Thomas who had a protective look on his face as he answered cooly "But she isn't even two years old, Bruce."

"When she comes of age, obviously" Ismay said "You will accept our offer, won't you?" he glanced at his wife who was just as creepy as him.

"_Of course not! Of course we won't let your estranged son marry our daughter!" _Helen wanted to scream but she replied calmly "We'll talk it over"

"GOOD!" Ismay boomed "But I expect an answer by the time we get to New York, I want to start making plans then"

"We haven't accepted your offer yet, Bruce" Thomas said, he turned his head to see Helen sitting there like a statue. Her hands in her lap. He reached over and squeesed her hands.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back.

_**Sorry, it's a very short start. But I hope you all like. Will update as soon as pos1**_


	2. Falling For The Dreamcatcher

_**I take all the reviews into account and sorry if you don't like it, I'm going to change it, for my blood pressure if anything, okay. Good!**_

Two

10th April 1912

11:55 am

Helen was brought back down to earth when a stewardess said "Where would you like Miss Elizabeth's luggage, m'am?"

"Oh, just put it in the wardrobe with the rest" Helen waved the stewardess away.

"Elizabeth Andrews" Helen said, recieting her daughter's name, she sighed and then muttered another name "Elizabeth Ismay" she shook her head so hard her neck clicked "It doesn't sound right"

She then heard the soft Irish accent behind her "It doesn't does it?"

Helen turned round and walked toward her husband, she looked him in the eye "You _are_ going to say no, aren't you?".

Thomas placed his arms round her waist and said "Of course I am. I'm her father and I say Beth isn't marrying Johnathan Ismay"

Helen smiled at him and entwined her arms round his neck and lay her head on his chest.

Beneath his shirts she could feel his heart beating.

She stayed in his arms for a couple of seconds before pulling away and continuing to unpack her personal belongings.

"Will we be seeing him at dinner tonight?" she asked.

"Probably" Thomas replied.

"Anyone else?"

"The Captain, possibly one of the Officers, and a few others" Thomas shrugged.

"That's a relief" said Helen as she stood on her tip toes to place her bag on top of the wardrobe.

Thomas pulled his pocketwatch out of his waistcoat and chuckled "We should be moving right about..." the great ship gave an almighty shudder as she pulled away from the dock"...now" Thomas said, flipping the golden watch shut and tucking it back into his waistcoat.

Helen smiled as Thomas murmured half to himself "We're on the move"

6:45 pm

Helen walked into the sitting room and sat down on the chair. She had just changed for dinner, and they had just departed Cherbourg where they had picked up more passengers.

Her dress was very beautiful, it was a cream dress which hung on her. There was a lovely long sash tied round her tiny waist. And her light brown curls were let long and cream ribbons trailed down beside them.

Thomas soon appeared from where he had been helping the nursemaid Cathy, get Beth off to sleep. Once again adorned in a tuxedo.

He smiled warmly at her as she stood up.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be" Helen said as Thomas held the door that led out into the hallway.

"Come on, let's get this over with" Thomas said, gently taking her arm.

They walked through the doors that opened onto the grand staircase.

Helen gasped as she looked up at the breathtaking glass dome.

"Like it?" Thomas said.

Helen nodded as they passed the Honor and Glory Crowning Time clock panel and descended the first part of the staircase.

The couple were about to move down to C deck level when Ismay's voice cried "Ah! Thomas! Helen! Over here!", Thomas let out a sigh and walked toward Ismay who was conversing with the _Titanic's _captain, Edward J. Smith.

"Thomas, good to see you again" Smith said, clasping hands with Helen's husband, Smith turned his blue eyes on Helen and said "And it's lovely to see you're looking so well, Helen" Smith raised her hand to his lips and kissed her gloved knuckles "I take it your children are well?" he asked, his eyes shining.

"Yes, they are very well" Thomas smiled.

"Good, good" Smith nodded "Haveyou met my daughter, Emily?" he then pushed forward a woman around Helens age.

She had light blue eyes and golden hair with ginger and brown streaks, she wore a red silk dress with black lacey taffeta over the top,which was decorated with gems and rhinestones, and was fastened together at the back with a jewelled clip. Her hair she wore long but had a silver hair band also decorated with rhinestonespushing it back from her face.

"No, I haven't" Thomas said, raising Emily's hand to his lips "Emily its a pleasure to meet you"

Emily replied "No, it's a pleasure to meet _you_, Mr Andrews" she turned on Helen and said "And this must be your lovely wife"

"Yes" Thomas said as Emily greeted Helen with a kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to meet you" Emily said.

"You too" Helen replied.

"Emily, where is your daughter?" Ismay asked, laughing.

"She's with her father tonight" Emily said.

"I'd hardly call dining with the officers _civilized_" Ismay laughed.

Emily caught the sarcasm in his voice and Helen blinked at her sympathetically, Emily smiled gratefully back before saying "She's not dining with them, her father's taken her on a walk around the deck"

Thomas then said "Speaking of the officers, which one will be dining with us tonight?"

"Our Chief Officer" Ismay said.

"And that is?" Helen asked.

"Henry Wilde" a lively Liverpoolian accent behind her made Helen jump.

She turned round to see a tall man behind her, he was _tall_, at least six foot. He had dark ocean blue eyes and black hair sticking out in tufts from under his cap. He smiled a warm, yet seductive smile at her and said "You must be Mrs. Andrews"

"Yes" Helen answered

"Pleased to meet you" Wilde said, raising her hand to his lips.

He then shook hands with Thomas, and albeit reluctantly, with Ismay.

"Emily, it's good to see you again" Wilde said, kissing Emily's hand.

"As it is you, Henry." Emily smiled "You look well"

"Thank you" Wilde said.

"Well, I said to Mr. Duff Gordon and Mr. Hockley we'd meet them in the reception area, so, shall we?" Ismay said, welcoming them down the second flight of stairs.

"Mrs. Murdoch" Wilde said, offering his arm to Emily "May I have the honour of escorting you?"

"You may. Mr. Wilde" Emily said, taking his arm.

Helen then remembered what the stewardesses had said about the Chief.

"_Oh, that Mr. Wilde, he's The Dreamcatcher, he is!"_

"_Every woman in the world should have half an hour with Henry Tingle Wilde. The Dreamcatcher"_

Helen smiled to herself.

Even though she'd only known him fiveminutes, she had to admit she was starting to fall for him.

Falling in love with 'The Dreamcatcher' as he was nicknamed.

And what a Dreamcatcher he was.

_**Like? I changed it so please let me know if it's better or worse!**_


	3. Ever Kissed A Sailor, Mrs Andrews?

_**My new chapter! Hope you all like, come on more reviews please!I changed it for the greater good!**_

_**Here's the song I wrote this chappie too:**_

_You light the skies, up above me  
A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah  
Don't close your eyes  
Don't fade away, don't fade away_

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star  
If you stay with me girl  
We can rule the world-  
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky  
If you stay by my side  
We can rule the world-

If walls break down, I will comfort you  
If angels cry, oh I'll be there for you  
You've saved my soul  
Don't leave me now, don't leave me now

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star  
If you stay with me girl  
We can rule the world  
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky  
If you stay by my side  
We can rule the world-

All the stars are coming out tonight  
They're lighting up the sky tonight  
For you, for you  
All the stars are coming out tonight  
They're lighting up the sky tonight  
For you, for you-

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star  
If you stay with me girl  
We can rule the world  
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky  
If you stay by my side  
We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight  
They're lighting up the sky tonight  
For you, for you-  
All the stars are coming out tonight  
They're lighting up the sky tonight  
For you,for you-

All the stars, are coming out tonight  
They're lighting up the sky tonight  
For you, for you-  
All the stars, are coming out tonight  
They're lighting up the sky tonight  
For you,for you

_-Take That_

_**Sniffs I love that song. Anyways, on wiv the story!**_

Three

10th April

7:15

Ismay was close to tears he was laughing so hard at Sir Cosmo's bad joke. Caledon Hockley was laughing hysterically also.

Thomas and the Captain laughed as much as they needed to, or as much as the joke deserved.

But Henry barely broke a smile.

Ismay, being the kind of man he was, picked up on this and exclaimed "Good God. Mr. Wilde. It wasn't _that_ bland, at least _smile_!"

Henry then gave turned toward Ismay and gave him a sarcastic grin. "Happy now?" he asked.

"Well" Ismay cleared his throat "There's no need to act like _that_, is there?"

Then Henry mumbled under his breath so that only the women he was sitting inbetween, those being Helen and Ruth DeWitt Bukater, could hear him "I can act how I bloody well want around you, Ismay, you little shit..."

Ismay still heard, he raised his head sharply and demanded "What was that, Mr. Wilde?"

"Nothing..." Henry smirked at him "Just talking to myself"

Ismay nodded, his moustache twitching "Very well, Mr. Wilde"

He turned back to his dinner and began eating it ravishly.

They all began to tuck in, conversation arousing, Henry's dark blue eyes bore down into the table top, his hand not touching the cutlery, he was once again lost in thought.

Helen too, had lost her appetite, she gently pushed away from the table and said "Will you excuse me? I am going to take a little walk around the boat deck for some air"

"I'll come with you" Henry muttered, pushing the chair from underneath him and standing up to his full height.

"Are you sure it is wise, Thomas? To let a rough man like Henry Wilde near a sophisticated woman like your wife?" Ismay smirked.

Thomas turned to look at Helen who said "I'm sure Mr. Wilde will look after me"

Henry then offered her his arm. Helen took it, though admittedly a little awkwardly because of his height, at 6 foot 4, he was easily the tallest man she'd ever been this close too.

_Out on the boat deck _

"No... I'm serious..." Henry laughed "Joseph Bruce Ismay was born of a mule and he was fathered by a bloody bear!"

Helen laughed too, nearly crying because she was laughing so hard.

Henry shook his head "I'm terrible, aren't I?"

Helen turned on him "Yes you are, Mr Wilde. You are terrible"

She ran a hand round his shoulder.

Henry then said "What types of men have you kissed, Mrs Andrews?"

"Mostly Harland and Wolf men, but I..." Helen was silenced when Henry placed a finger on her lips.

"Tell me, have you ever kissed a sailor?" Henry asked, raising his neat black eyebrows.

"No" Helen said, moving closer to him.

Henry then murmured in her ear "Well, there's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

He then couldn't bite back temptaion any more, he pulled Helen toward him, and their lips touched as they kissed passionetly.

She pulled away and whispered "So _that's_ what its like to kiss a sailor"

Henry then ran a hand down her face "All the stars are comin out tonight. They're lighting up the sky tonight, for you, Helen Andrews"

Helen then murmured "And I'd gladly stay with you"

"We'd ride on a star and rule the world" Henry smiled.

Helen nodded and then began to walk again "And I'd gladly kiss you again, Dreamcatcher"

Henry smiled warmly and took her hand in his as they continued down the boatdeck.

But they hadn't noticed Mr. Ismay watching them throughout that outburst of red hot passion.

He smirked as he realised what the Chief Officer and the Master Shipbuilder's wife had been doing.

And he was going to ruin her marriage.

For good.

_**On no! Dunnnn, dunnnnn, duuuuuunnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHATS GONNA HAPPEN?????READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! THANKS!**_


	4. A Friend To New York And Back

_**My new chappie! Once again I wrote it to a particular song so here's the song!**_

_I am a question to the world  
Not an answer to be heard  
Or a moment that's held in your arms_

And what do you think you'd ever say  
I won't listen anyway  
You don't know me  
And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand  
I'm a boy – No, I'm a man  
You can't take me and throw me away  
And how can you learn what's never shown  
Yeah you stand here on your own  
They don't know me  
'Cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real  
Wanna touch things I don't feel  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
And how can the world want me to change  
They're the ones that stay the same  
They don't know me  
'Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see  
All you wanted I could be  
Now you know me and I'm not afraid  
And I want to tell you who I am  
Can you help me be a man  
They can't break me  
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real  
Wanna touch things I don't feel  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
How can the world want me to change  
They're the ones that stay the same  
They can't see me  
But I'm still here

They can't tell me who to be  
'Cause I'm not what they see  
Yeah the world is still sleepin'  
While I keep on dreamin' for me  
And their words are just whispers and lies  
That I'll never believe

And I want a moment to be real  
Wanna touch things I don't feel  
Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
And how can they say I'll never change  
They're the ones that stay the same  
I'm the one now  
'Cause I'm still here  
I'm the one  
'Cause I'm still here  
I'm still here  
I'm still here  
I'm still here 

_-John Rzeznik_

_**Nuff yakkin! Story time!**_

Four

10th April

10:25pm

Henry's blue eyes never once darted off the paper as he wrote a letter to his youngest daughter Lilly, the ship was nearing Queenstown and he had promised his daughter, who was to turn five in a few days, he would send her a special birthday letter, along with the main letter he addressed to all the family. In his main letter he explained how he had been transferred to the _Titanic_ from her sister, _Olympic,_ at very short notice and how he would be home later than he'd previously told them.

His head didn't turn at the knock on the door.

He still didn't look up when a shadowy figure opened the door, "Go away, Harry" he muttered, assuming it was the Fifth Officer.

"Who's Harry?"

Henry's relaxed and lazy eyes suddenly shot open, bold and alert, he looked up "Who the hell?"

Ismay walked into the light.

"Why the hell are you here? Get the bloody hell out of here!"" Henry growled, trying not to cause a scene.

"Where's Mrs. Andrews?" Ismay questioned.

"She's back in her cabin. Why?" Henry demanded.

"I saw you two" Ismay raised his eyebrows, his moustache twitching.

"Doing _what_?"Henry spat, holding himself back from wanting to give Ismay a punch he wouldn't forget and that would wipe that smirk off his ratlike face.

"Kissing" Ismay answered plainly.

"_WHAT_?"Henry cried.

"Don't deny it, I saw you both"

"So what?" Henry shrugged "It was one little kiss, what does it matter? It's over, not gonna happen again, what does it matter?"

"It'll matter if I tell Mr. Andrews, won't it?"

"Well, you're not going to" Henry lifted his chin, he walked forward till he stood in front of Ismay "You're not going to tell a soul. Okay? Not Andrews, not Captain Smith, not Will Murdoch and especially not bloody Charles Lightoller"

"Or what? What can you do to me?"

Henry had had enough, he grabbed Ismay by the throat and pushed him against the wall, and with his free hand he held Ismay's arm, while his other hand creeped over his mouth and neck, twisting his head to the side as Henry snarled into his ear "I'll kill you. And don't think I can't because I can. I've had it with you, you're nothing special, just because you're the president of the White Star Line, it doesn't mean you're bigger than us. And if you breathe a word of this to _anyone_, and I _mean_ anyone, I'll kill you, your face would be in the dirt before you could spit. You get that?"

Ismay noded slowly.

Henry released his grip and shoved Ismay back against the wall as the spindly man tried to regain his footing.

Henry cocked his head toward the door "Go on, get out before I throw you out"

Ismay then slunk toward the door, he opened it and was just about leave when he stopped.

"Go" Henry prompted him.

"Why are you trying to make out you're strong?"Ismay smirked.

"Get out!" Henry cried.

"I above all people know that you haven't strong since your wife died"Ismay persisted.

Henry suddenly turned his head, his eyes in another place, a different world, their dark blue colour suddenly became cloudy and distant. His heavy breathing was the only sound in the cabin.

"I understand how hard it must have beeen for you..."Ismay began.

Henry snapped back into reality and whispered "Get out"

"But..."

"Didn't you hear me?" Henry turned to Ismay, his eyes sunken as he repeated "Get out..."

Ismay then quietly slipped away.

Henry waited for the door to click shut, and then waited for a couple of minutes.

Before letting himself collapse into the chair.

He then put a hand over his eyes and let the tears flow.

This emotional outbreak only lasted a couple of minutes but it was enough to make the Chief Officer remember his beautiful wife.

He sniffed and shook his head so he came back to his senses.

His hand ran down the back of his neck as he picked up the pen and began writing again.

He signed his name and folded both letters in half. Leaving them on his desk, he stood up and pulled on his jacket.

As he fastened up the golden buttons he remembered when he had returned from his first trans-Atlantic voyage as an officer, when he had found the woman of his dreams.

Mary Catherine.

Henry smiled to himself as he placed his hat on his head and wandered out onto the wheelhouse where Will Murdoch, the First Officer, was leaning out over the starboard bridge wing.

Will didn't notice Henry until he came and stood beside him.

Without looking at hm, but raising an eyebrow, Will mumbled a greeting "Evening"

Henry nodded a thanks, he was grateful that Will had forgiven him so quickly after Henry had bumped the Scotsman down a rank, back to First Officer, at very short notice. Will and Henry had worked together many times before and they respected and liked eachother, Will was a nice person to be around and as Henry desperatly needed one on the bridge for the voyage to New York and back, Will was the perfect candidate.

The man Henry didn't like so much, was Charles Lightoller, originally First Officer,Henry's late recruitment had knocked Will back down to First, and in turn Charles had stepped down to Second Officer, and the original Second Officer, David Blair, was taken off the ship entirely. Lightoller had already a spiting hatred for Henry, and vice versa, even before the reshuffle, but Henry's arrival had made things a whole lot worse between them. They only talked to one another when they had to, otherwise, they avoided eachother totally. Even in the Officers smoking room, when Henry entered, Lightoller left, and when Lightoller entered, Henry left.

Henry looked at Will, who'se normally pale cheeks were flushed scarlet because of the cold "Cold?" he asked, smiling.

"Bloody freezing" Will smiled back.

There wa silence between the two for a moment, then Will said "Why was Ismay coming out of the wheelhouse just a minute ago?"

Henry had to think on his feet, he quickly said "Dunno. Suppose he was seeing everything was in order"

Will grunted "Can't stand that man, can you?"

"Nope" Henry agreed, he sighed and said "Well, if you don't mind, Will. I'm going for a walk"

Will shook his head "I don't care what you do. But Charles is skulking around the stern area with his boys, so watch out"

"Allright" Henry laughed "I will"

He realised as he turned to walk down the boat deck, it would be hard to keep his newly born affair with Helen a secret, if Ismay knew, soon the whole of the White Star Line would.

_**PHEW! LONG CHAPPIE! R+R, thanks!**_


	5. Fields Of Gold, Unbroken Promises

_**New chappie for you guys! PLEASE MORE REVIEWS! PRETTY PLEASE! Here's the song I wrote this chappie too.**_

_You'll remember me when the west wind moves_

_Among the fields of barley_

_You can tell the sun in his jealous sky_

_When we walked in fields of gold_

_So she took her love for to gaze awhile_

_Among the fields of barley_

_In his arms she fell as her hair came down_

_Among the fields of gold_

_Will you stay with me will you be my love_

_Among the fields of barley_

_And you can tell the sun in his jealous sky_

_When we walked in fields of gold_

_I never made promises lightly_

_And there have been some that I've broken_

_But I swear in the days still left_

_We will walk in fields of gold_

_We'll walk in fields of gold_

_I never made promises lightly_

_And there have been some that I've broken_

_But I swear in the days still left_

_We will walk in fields of gold_

_We'll walk in fields of gold_

_Many years have passed since those summer days_

_Among the fields of barley_

_See the children run as the sun goes down_

_As you lie in fields of gold_

_You'll remember me when the west wind moves_

_Among the fields of barley_

_You can tell the sun in his jealous sky_

_When we walked in fields of gold_

_When we walked in fields of gold_

_When we walked in fields of gold_

_-Eva Cassidy_

_**I thought it would be an appropriate song seeing the real Wilde had lost his wife a couple of years before so. You must listen to this song its amazing.**_

Five

10th April

11:10pm

Henry strode through the first class corridoors, desperatley looking for Helen's stateroom.

"A-39. A-39.A-39" he recited as he breezed down the corridoors. He eventually found it.

He knocked hurridley on the white door.

He breathed a silent sigh of relief when Helen opened the door.

"Henry..."she trailed off "What is it?"

"Is Thomas in?"

"What...? No, he's not, but, what are you talking about?" Helen asked, raising a eyebrow.

"I need to talk to you. It's urgent" Henry pleaded with her.

"Oh...all right" Helen smiled, opening the door to allow Henry into the stateroom.

"Thanks" Henry smiled as he walked into the grandeur and splendour of the upper classes, true, he could afford this back home, but he didn't want to, he love his life how it was back home in Walton.

He breathed in and it came out as a slight whistle as he took in the gold gilded mahogany walls ,patterned carpet, lovely soft armchairs, a sofa, a coffee table with a silver teaset resting on it and a book teetering on the ege, and a desk and chair in the corner piled high with what looked like blueprints, obviously, belonging to Thomas.

Henry heard the door click shut and turned to see Helen with her curls cascading down her neck and bouncing on her shoulders, she wore a simple cream dress wich looked like a nightgown, but had a see through cream dressing gown over that.

Henry smiled sheepishly "You look beautiful..." he trailled off.

"Henry, you're not here to look at me, you're here to tell me something, what is it?" Helen asked.

Henry walked closer to her "Ismay knows" he stated plainly

Helen gasped, covering her hands with her mouth, she lowered them "About us?"

"Yes"

"But...how?"

"I don't know. He came into my cabin and told me himself. He told me if I didn't stop seeing you, he'd ruin your marriage"

Helen looked down and said "I don't want to stop seeing you"

Henry then muttered "Neither do I"

Helen looked up "We don't have to, Ismay doesn't have to know"

"Doesn't he?"

"No, of course not, you can tell him you've stopped seeing me, but we can still meet up in secret"

Henry nodded, an uneasy feeling in the pitt of his stomach, but he couldn't say no.

Then there was a little girl' soft voice "Mummy..."

Helen then replied "Coming sweetheart" she turned back to Henry, she leaned forward and kissed his chest "You should go, if Thomas gets back and finds you, we'll be finished."

Henry nodded "They'll be missing me up the at the bridge" he smiled, he kissed Helen on the forehead and said "I'll see you tommorow then" he smiled as he went to leave.

"Of course" Helen smiled, before going to her daughter.

Henry shut the door and smiled to himself as walked back down the first-class hallways.


	6. Unable To Change Who He Is

_**New chappie, thanks for the reviews! Keep em coming! Song again!**_

_She said to me, "Go steady on me._

_Won't you tell me what the Wise Men said?_

_When they came down from Heaven,_

_Smoked nine 'til seven,_

_All the stuff that they could find,_

_But they couldn't escape from you,_

_Couldn't be free of you,_

_And now they know there's no way out,_

_And they're really sorry now for what they've done,_

_They were three Wise Men just trying to have some fun."_

_Look who's alone now,_

_It's not me, it's not me._

_Those three Wise Men, they've got a semi by the sea._

_Got to ask yourself the question,_

_Where are you now?_

_Got to ask yourself the question,_

_Where are you now?_

_Really sorry now, they weren't to know._

_They got caught up in your talent show,_

_With you pernickety little bastards in your fancy dress,_

_Who just judge each other and try to impress,_

_But they couldn't escape from you,_

_Couldn't be free of you,_

_And now they know there's no way out,_

_And they're really sorry now for what they've done,_

_They were three Wise Men just trying to have some fun._

_Look who's alone now,_

_It's not me, it's not me._

_Those three Wise Men,_

_They've got a semi by the sea._

_Got to ask yourself the question, where are you now?_

_Got to ask yourself the question, where are you now?_

_Look who's alone now,_

_It's not me, it's not me._

_Those three Wise Men,_

_They've got a semi by the sea._

_Got to ask yourself the question,_

_Where are you now?_

_Got to ask yourself the question, where are you now?_

_Where are you now? _

_Got to ask yourself the question, where are you now?_

_-James Blunt_

Six

11th April

1:57am

Henry sighed deeply and took another deep puff from the cigarette in his hand. He was sitting in the Officers Smoke Room, with only a sleepy looking James Moody for company .

James looked up as the door clicked open.

Henry cringed as Charles Lightoller's voice interrupted the peace "Mr. Wilde, Will says your needed out on the bridge"

Henry sighed, and with a heavy heart, took the cigarette from his mouth and pushed it into the ash tray which was on the table nearest him.

"Now" Charles said, raising his eyebrows at Henry as he stood up and looking at him with ice blue eyes, he cocked his head toward the door "Go on. You've got to stand out there too, you know, not just us." Henry gave him a sullen look and Charles folded his arms over his chest "This is rare. Normally you're raring to go when it comes to work, what's wrong, Henry, being a single father with four children all a bit to much too handle?"

Henry looked at Charles with narrowed eyes "Just shut up" he muttered as he walked past.

"Only on one condition" Charles said, turning on his heel to face Henry as he stood in the doorway,

Henry raised an eyebrow and smirked "What could you possibly want from me?"

"I'd like, no, correction, I want, my lighter back. Now" Charles demanded, holding a hand out "Hand it over"

Henry sighed, he reached in his pocket for the lighter and threw it to Charles, who caught it quite extraordainarily with one hand. "There. Happy now?" Henry smiled sarcastically, before turning and walking down the corridoor.

He walkd out into the wheelhouse where a dreamy-eyed Will was waiting.

Henry stopped in front of him and patted him on the arm "Go on, mate, you go get some sleep, I'll take over here"

Will mumbled a thanks through a yawn as he walked into the warmth of the Officers Quarters, unbuttoning his coat, Henry watched as the Scot turned sharply toward his cabin and shut the door behind him.

Henry's mind then turned to the four hour watch ahead, he reached for his longcoat and pulled it over his already freezing limbs. He walked out onto the bridge, where junior officers, Lowe and Pittman, talking quietly beside the Quartermaster at the wheel.

Henry also saw another figure standing in the shadows, just by looking at him, Henry had worked out it was Captain Smith. Henry calmed himself and walked quietly up beside Smith, who only glanced at him, but acknowledged his prescence.

"Mr. Wilde" Smtih greeted him.

"Captain" Henry returned the hello.

"Enjoy your dinner?" Smith said, obviously trying to deter something that was annoying him.

"Yes" Henry said "And the company was...most enjoyable"

Smith chuckled lightly "You don't have to pretend you liked them, Henry, I could se you despised them"

"Yeah, well..." Henry trailed off "They don't know any other life than what they've got do they?"

"No" Smith shook his head.

"Actually..." Smith looked up at Henry, Henry knew what was coming next, "There is one concern I have with you"

"What would that be, Captain?" Henry held his tongue.

"You and Mr. Lightoller..." Smith raised a eyebrow to Henry, who was silently thanking whoever was up there looking down on him, "You and him don't get on well, do you?"

"No" Henry shook his head "But maybe its just because we are who we are. And you can't change that"

"Yes" Smith shrugged "Well, I'll be off, good-night, Mr. Wilde"

"Good night, sir" Henry said, straightening himself up and letting his eyes adjust to the darkness.

He silently breathed out when he was sure Smith had gone.

His secret had nearly been discovered. But as he had said tp Helen earlier, he wanted to see her, and like he'd just told Smith. He was who he was, and you couldn't change that.

_**Like? R+R please. Thanks!**_


	7. Bright Eyes That Once Burned Like Fire

_**New chappie! New song!**_

_Is it a kind of dream,_

_Floating out on the tide,_

_Following the river of death downstream,_

_Oh, is it a dream?_

_There's a fog along the horizon,_

_A strange glow in the sky,_

_And nobody seems to know where you go,_

_And what does it mean?_

_Oh, is it a dream?_

_Bright eyes,_

_Burning like fire._

_Bright eyes,_

_How can you close and fail?_

_How can the light that burned so brightly_

_Suddenly burn so pale?_

_Bright eyes._

_Is it a kind of shadow,_

_Reaching into the night,_

_Wandering over the hills unseen,_

_Or is it a dream?_

_There's a high wind in the trees,_

_A cold sound in the air,_

_And nobody ever knows when you go,_

_And where do you start,_

_Oh, into the dark?_

_Bright eyes,_

_burning like fire._

_Bright eyes,_

_how can you close and fail?_

_How can the light that burned so brightly_

_Suddenly burn so pale?_

_bright eyes._

_Bright eyes,_

_burning like fire._

_Bright eyes,_

_how can you close and fail?_

_How can the light that burned so brightly_

_Suddenly burn so pale?_

_Bright eyes.-Simon & Garfunkle_

_**Story time!**_

Seven

11th April

10:05am

Helen sat obediently at the breakfast table with her husband, Margaret "Molly" Brown and Ismay.

Every so often, Helen's green eyes would dart over to Ismay, who, blissfully unaware of Helen's gaze, continued to talk to Molly and Thomas.

It was only after the breakfast orders had been taken that Helen noticed two empty chairs opposite her and Thomas.

"Excuse me, Mr. Ismay" it killed Helen to be polite to the man who threatened to ruin her marriage "Why are there two empty seats on our table?"

"Because, my dear Mrs. Andrews, the Captain and an officer will be breakfasting with us" Ismay smiled at Helen.

Helen nodded and then asked "Which officer?"

"That I don't know, most likely it will be the chief" Ismay replied, this time not looking at her.

Helen raised her eyebrows and muttered "Wonderful", she had hoped it would be Henry, partly because she had been wanting to tell him of her arousing concerns that Ismay had already told her husband about her affair.

She didn't want that to be the case.

She looked up as Molly Brown asked her "Now, Helen. You haven't taken a shine to this chief officer, have you?"

Helen smiled a real smile, she like Molly a lot and thought her a second mother for the remainder of the voyage, she replied sweetly "Well, he may seem like a cold, heartless man on the surface, but at his centre is a lovely, warm-hearted, caring father to his children."

Molly then said "Two-faced, is he?" she chuckled as Helen replied "Yes, quite", she too giggling.

The whole table looked up as Captain Smith approached. He smiled and said "Good morning, all"

"Good morning, Captain" Thomas greeted him with a warm smile.

Smith sat down at a chair and told them "Mr. Wilde will be joining us shortly, he's just come off watch and when I offered him breakfast, he couldn't refuse"

Then, soon after, Henry walked into the room, adjusting his cuffs as he went.

He smiled at the Captain as he sat down next to him, "Good morning, Mr. Andrews, Mrs. Andrews..." his haunting blue gaze turned to Ismay "...Mr. Ismay" he acknowledged him solemnly.

Ismay nodded back. And Henry turned to Molly, "Well well well. I haven't seen you around" he smiled.

"No, no, sir, you wouldn't have. I boarded at Cherbourg last night" Molly laughed, holding her hand out to Henry for him to shake, he took it and smiled "Might I learn the name of such a delicate rose?" Molly laughed "You are the flatterer! And by the way, I'm not a delicate rose, I'm far from it. I'm Margaret Brown. You can call me Molly". "Well, Molly. It's a pleasure to meet you. I like a woman who's a woman in her own right, who's not controlled. I'm Wilde, by the way, Henry Wilde"

"Well, Mr. Wilde, it's a pleasure to meet you too" Molly smiled, "Please. Molly, if I call you Molly, you call me Henry, at least when I'm off duty" Henry corrected her.

"Sure" Molly said.

Henry then cleared his throat and directed his attention to Helen "I must say, Mrs. Andrews, you're looking lovely this morning"

"Why thank you, Mr. Wilde, you're looking nice this morning also"

"Ah well, I hardly look any different from one day to the other when I'm working" Henry said, putting a cigarette in between his teeth and taking it out again to light it, he took a puff and leaned back in his chair "Whatever you do, Thomas, don't let your boy smoke when he's older, once you have one, you can't stop"

Molly then said "You have incredibly bright eyes, Henry"

"If you think they're bright" Henry said, pointing to his lovely eyes, dark blue iris with a hint of ice blue around the edges and around the outside of his pupils, "You should have seen them before they paled. My eyes used to burn like fire. Now they burn pale and distant"

Helen smiled and thought that she had maybe revived something in Henry that he hadn't felt for sometime, something nearly dead. She wanted to make his eyes burn like fire again, not burn pale and distant. She wanted to see the flame return to those eyes so lovely, but haunted by the past, and witnessing things no man should witness.

_**Like? Sorry for the late update, it's just I have had exams at school. I got an A in my French coursework, a 6b in Science and Maths so, I'm doing okay, but its school hols now so I'll update a lot more often.R+R please, thanks!**_

_**Lights**_


	8. First Christmas Without Her

_**Okay! Merry Xmas, this will be my last chappie before the BIG DAY. So, Merry Xmas to everyone, Lol! Have a good one, I'll update after but hope this is a Christmas pressie from me to all my lovely reviewers. **_

_**We're going back in time here, to Xmas 1911, Henry's POV, so, here it is.**_

Eight

_What do you give four children who've lost someone so precious to them? Who've had their world torn apart, what do you give to them at one of the happiest times of the year?_

_What could anyone possibly give them that would fill the big black hole that is in their hearts, something to wash the pain away, the grief, the despair, what could possibly make them happy?_

_I know, yes I do, you better believe me._

_For my four, I know what makes them happy,_

_A football for Freddie_

_A book for Sarah_

_A doll for Lily_

_And a sketchbook for Benji_

_And for me?_

_Nothing._

_Nothing could heal the wound in my heart_

_But today wasn't about me, it was about the children. This is my personal account of the first Christmas without her. _

25th December 1911

2:05pm

My reactions were put to the test as I raised my hands to catch the leather football Freddie threw at me.

"What was that for?" I cried, remembering when I was a child and Christmas was just like this.

"Testing" Freddie shrugged.

I smiled and threw the ball back to him.

"Thanks, Dad" Freddie said "For the football I mean"

"Henry, how on earth did you afford it?" my mam, Jane asked.

I tapped the side of my nose and smiled at her.

"That's for me and only me to know, Mam" I said.

I turned to where my eldest daughter, Sarah, sat, eager to find out what her present was.

"Go on, sweetheart" I said.

She dived under the tree and came back with a rectangular package wrapped up in brown paper tied with string.

She looked at it, perplexed and said "Can I open it?"

"No, you leave it in the paper" Freddie said sarcastically

"Freddie" I said sternly, raising one of my fine black eyebrows

Freddie shut up and we all waited as Sarah undone the string and ever so carefully unwrapped the brown paper.

I felt happy when I saw her face light up, and her green eyes become bright as she looker at the small red hardback book in her hand, with the words _A Christmas Carol_, embossed onto the front.

"It's Charles Dickens!" She cried, looking at me with a huge smile on her face.

"Yeah, it is" I smiled back at her, and before I knew it she had got up, ran over and had thrown her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

"Careful, Sarah, you're strangling Dad" Freddie laughed.

Sarah finally let go and said "Thank you, Daddy"

"You're welcome, Princess" I said, kissing her on the cheek.

Before Sarah had even sat down, Lilly was already crawling under the tree to get her present, she, unlike her sister, bit the string and then ripped the brown paper with her sharp nails.

She cocked her head to one side as she looked at the brown box "It's a box"she said bluntly

"Come here, Lil" Freddie said "I'll open it for you"

Lilly passed her elder brother the box and he ever so gracefully opened the box and then gave it back to Lilly.

She warily put her hand inside the box and smiled as she pulled out a china doll. The doll had mousy blonde locks and was wearing a pink pinafore and hat with little white tights, black buckle shoes and stared at Lilly with porcelain eyes.

"What you gonna call her, Lil?" I asked.

"Don't know" Lilly said, she pondered and placed her dolly down saying "I'll think about it tonight"

"Okay!" I clapped my hands together "Benji, your turn"

Benji already had his present in his lap, on my cue, he tore it open and his present was revealed to be a black leather sketchbook with a piece of charcoal at the side and crisp pages of blank paper sitting inside.

Even at three, Benji was already a keen artist and would sit there for hours while Sarah read to him and he would draw what he heard.

"Thanks, Dad" Benjamin smiled a childish grin.

I smiled one back and as the maids began to pick up the remnants of the paper, I felt Freddie come behind me and pull a blindfold over my eyes, wanting me to play Blind Mans Buff "Come on, Dad. Just like old times" He said, referring to when I last played this with the children, shortly before their mother died, which was Christmas Eve last year.

I smiled and said "Come on then"

_**Like? Merry Xmas everyone!**_

_**Lights**_


	9. Scarred

_**Happy 2008! I wrote this chapter to "Everytime" by Britney Spears. It's the only song of her's I like, I wrote each POV on a different verse from the song. You try and guess which, dare you. Anyway, back in present day, or rather, 1912. After brekkies, following both Helen, Henry AND Thomas' POV's. LONG CHAPPIE, be warned!**_

Nine

11th April

11:10am

_Helen:_

Helen walked back down the corridor to her cabin, desperately trying to hold back tears. She wanted to, and did, love Henry, but how could she leave the most caring man in her world besides him, how could she leave Thomas?

She heard his soft voice, music to her ears, "Helen..."

She felt a hand grasp hers, she couldn't face Thomas as he pulled her towards him.

"Helen" she closed her eyes and buried her head in Thomas' chest as he stroked her hair, resting his cheek on her head.

"I'm sorry" she manage to say through sobs.

"Sorry? For what? Why do you need to be sorry?" Thomas asked, he pulled away from Helen and gently lifted her chin so she was looking at him.

Helen couldn't hold his hurt, confused blue gaze. She looked down, only to have her head bought up again. She looked into Thomas' eyes, which were beginning to sparkle with tears. She couldn't keep it from him.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered, running her hand down his face "I'm so sorry" her voice barely a whisper. "Henry Wilde. I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to..."

"What? What about Henry Wilde? Has he touched you?" Thomas asked protectively yet gently "Helen, has he done anything to you? Helen?"

Helen shook her head "No. He hasn't. But I've touched him" she smiled weakly "Please, give me a second chance!" she started to beg Thomas.

Thomas looked even more hurt as he asked "What do you mean? 'I've touched him' what do you mean?".

Helen leaned in and kissed him, she whispered in his ear "I'm so sorry". Then before he could say anything, she picked up her skirt's and ran, away from him, away from guilt. And into the Dreamcatchers arms

_Henry:_

Henry breezed the boat deck, looking out over the ocean, he stopped and leaned out over the side as he watched the Irish shoreline came into view.

He turned away just as Helen ran into him.

"I told him" she sobbed, hiding away in his jacket she sobbed gently "I told him, I told him, I told him, what do I do?"

Henry, slightly shocked, gently put his arms round her and rocked her from side to side as he asked "Who did you tell?"

"Thomas" Helen cried.

Henry's eyes suddenly shot open, now Thomas knew, he could easily lose his job. Then where would his children be?

But his children weren't his main concern at that moment. His main concern was Helen.

His jaw nearly dropped as he saw a red mark of Helen's cheek. He pulled her head up and asked "Where did you get this?"

"Oh, that..." Helen said, she shrugged "Ran into a wall"

That made Henry smile "Clumsy" he touched her good cheek "Anywhere else?:"

Helen raised her hands, their palms chuffed and red.

Henry then put his arm round her "Come on, I'll take you back to my cabin. Go in where Lightoller, or anyone else for that matter, won't see us"

Helen laughed, sniffing and wiping away a tear she nodded "Okay then"

_Thomas:_

Thomas walked into his stateroom, in a daze. He shut the door, his eyes clouded with confusion as he walked over to the hearth, he raised his head and looked at himself in the mirror.

Looking back, he saw a well chiselled face of a man, still young, but who had aged prematurely. He shut his eyes as tightly as he could, only to have a single tear appear on his cheek.

Thomas never cried. Never.

He looked up again, this time seeing Henry Wilde.A man nearly 7 years older than Thomas, but at first glance, you'd say it was the other way round. Henry was handsome, tall and charming. Yes, Thomas had the Irish Charms, but was it enough to regain Helen's trust?

Thomas blinked erratically, trying to get rid of the image.

He looked up. Henry still stared at him, a smug smile on his face, he cocked his head to one side, making Thomas adjust his gaze to see Henry and Helen in a compromising position in what looked like his cabin, his hands on her face, touching her body, his lips interlocked with hers, Helen's hands set on Henry's broad, naked shoulders.

Thomas breathed "No..." he turned back to the image of Henry "You, you deceptive, disgusting little..." he trailed off as he saw Henry's eyes flushed of their colour. A pale distant blue, the haunting eyes of nightmares.

These were the eye's that told Thomas of Henry's nightmare.

The setting changed, once again, from officer's cabin, to a bedroom in a house.

A doctor, a nurse and two housemaids bustled around a bed. The housemaids and the nurse departed, giving Thomas a clear view of the bed, a woman lay there, a very beautiful woman, her eyes closed, golden hair spread about her pillow. She looked as if she were sleeping.

The doctor looked up, as did Thomas. Henry, dressed only in trousers and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up, ran in, his cheeks stained with tears, he fell to his knees, taking the woman into his arms, she made no move, her body lay limp in his arms.

She was dead.

Then it hit Thomas, this was Henry's wife, he was witnessing her death, or moments after.

This was what had made Henry the man he was today.

Henry's chest rose and fell rapidly as he pushed his dead wife's hair back behind her ears. Her beautiful face pale and lifeless. Henry looked at her. His eyes travelling up to her face. He kissed her cold lips.

It hurt Thomas to see a man fall from grace like that. He watched in the shadows as Henry's lips left those of his wife. He placed her back on the bed. Tucking the sheets in around her. His voice suddenly became audible, just for a minute, to let Thomas catch those few precious words that no-one except maybe the doctor, had heard. His lips barely moving, Henry uttered "Sleep well, my darling" he touched her cheek. He then closed his eyes, and he stood up to full height.

Henry then bought something up into the light, a necklace. As it twirled round, Thomas could make it out as a gold heart. Henry then wound the necklace round his hand, he walked out, only stopping to presumably thank the doctor, and look one last time at his dead wife.

Thomas then saw him make his way downstairs, walking to the side so the undertaker could come up.

Thomas was then transported back to the cabin. He looked up, Henry had gone. It was a vision, of the past, and the present.

Thomas now understood what Helen had been trying to tell him. But also what had scarred Henry Wilde, the seemingly emotionless man, so deeply, as to make his numb, to feel no emotion.

Thomas collapsed onto the sofa, running his hands through his greying hair. He knew. He knew the nightmare Henry had been through. He knew that man's weakness.

_**WOW! I wrote all that???? That turned out okay! Well, I think it did, you may not. I liked it. Did you?**_


	10. Once Upon A December

_**New chapter! Hope you all enjoy! Done to "Behind Blue Eyes" by Limp Bizkit. I thought it very appropriate seeing Henry has blue eyes. **_

Ten

11th April

11:15am

Henry rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and cracked his knuckles as he waited for the white porcelain bowl to fill up with water.

When he decided it was full enough, he turned the golden taps so the water stopped running. He carefully picked up the bowl and carried it across the hall back to his cabin.

He was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but was rudely interrupted when Lightoller's voice cut through the air "What are you doing, Mr. Wilde?"

Henry turned to see Charles leaning against the white panelling. Henry lowered his eyebrows as Charles raised his "I'm waiting for an answer", "Charles, why do I have to tell you my every move?" Henry scowled, Charles bit his lip "So you don't get yourself into trouble", as he turned round he added "We wouldn't want our perfect chief officer to lose his job now, would we?".

"Shut up" Henry spat.

As Charles turned back out into the wheelhouse he laughed sarcastically and said "I'll take that as a 'no' then. Shall I?"

Henry ignored him, he pushed open the door and kicked it shut behind him. He looked at Helen sitting at the desk by the dim lamplight.

He smiled and raised his eyebrows, "That was a close one" he muttered as he pulled up a small stool in front of Helen. Helen herself laughed and asked "Is it always as bad as that, you and him?"

"Me and Charles?" Henry asked as he grabbed a small white flannel and a yellow towel from the coat hook behind him.

"Yes" Helen nodded.

Henry laughed "You think that's bad? Nah! That's nothing, I've had him against a wall with a black eye before, and there's been worse!"

As Henry wrung the flannel out he said "Now this is gonna sting. It's salt water"

"Salt water?" Helen said as Henry bought the flannel to her face

"Yep, well, I added the salt" Henry nodded, he placed the flannel on Helen's red cheek, she flinched.

"Sorry, told you it would sting" Henry told her in a matter-of-fact way.

"It's okay" Helen said. As Henry cleaned her cut, she asked "What can I do?"

As Henry placed the flannel in the bowl again, he raised a eyebrow "Well, not a lot you can do now. You've told Thomas."

"I'm scared that he'll do something to me" Helen admitted, beginning to feel tears prick her eyelids.

"Helen" Henry placed the flannel on her cheek again "If he loves you, he'll realise you done the right thing by telling him, and not by keeping it in the dark. I mean, you're the mother of his children, who do you think he'd listen to if he had a choice between you and Ismay?"

He waited for an answer, when Helen didn't reply, he told her "He'd listen to you. He loves you, you're his wife, Yes, he may not have liked what you told him, but at least _you_ told him, and not someone like Ismay or Lightoller. He's not going to hurt you".

As Henry placed the wet flannel on her cheek once more, Helen asked "What about you?"

"About me?" Henry echoed.

"Yes. What'll you do?"

"Well, I suppose, go back to Liverpool, get on with life" Henry shrugged.

"Back to all that pain?" Helen asked "Those memories. You really enjoy going back to that?"

Henry's eyes clouded for a second, he looked up "Salt heals wounds" he said simply, "Now let's see you hands"

Helen gave Henry her hands, as he placed the flannel over them she said "What are we going to do now?"

Henry looked up at her "Can't do an awful lot". He sighed as he placed the flannel back into the bowl and passed Helen the towel to dry herself with, "Look, I think it'll be best, if after today, we don't see or talk to each other for the remainder of the voyage". He looked at Helen.

She slowly nodded, trying to take it all in, "Yes, that would be best".

"It's not that I don't love you, I do, you remind me so much of Polly it hurts, your personality, so much like hers. But I think, for your marriage, and my job, it would be best if I kept out of your way"

Helen nodded, she stood up, "Well, Mr. Wilde. It's been a pleasure getting to know you, I'm just sorry it had to end so abruptly"

"So am I" Henry nodded, standing up.

Helen smiled as he held the door for her. She leaned forward and kissed him, as they broke apart she murmured "As you said, salt heals wounds".

She left, shutting the door behind her.

Henry was left alone. He looked up when he heard a soft tune, from a music box, a familiar tune, that sounded like rain dropping on the ground.

Then he heard her voice _"Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember, and a song, someone sings, once upon a December, someone holds me safe and warm, horses prance through a silver storm, figures dancing gracefully, across my memory"_ . Henry looked, Mary Catherine sat on the chair, she looked so real, so alive, so beautiful.

She held in the palm of her hand the music box, a small gold box, patterned in green, two figurines twirling round in the middle. The tune played as the lid closed in on the two people, then it stopped. Polly smiled, she turned to her husband "Someone held me, safe and warm. Once. But no more. Even in death, I remember the warmth of your arms, the sound of your voice, the sense of your touch"

Henry ran forward trying to take her in his arms once again, "No, Pol, don't leave me again, not again" he cried, as she disappeared, the music box's tune and her voice ringing in his ears.

He looked up as a fresh-looking Will opened the door "You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine" Henry said, laughing "Couldn't be better"

Will nodded, and still looking unconvinced he shut the door. Henry sat on the chair, elbows resting on his thighs, head in his hands, he raised his head "You're losing it, Henry. You really are going mad"

"_Once upon a December..." _her voice sang in his head.

"Once" Henry smiled "Only once. And that December was a long time ago"

_**I dunno about you, but I think I'm going nuts! That's a load of shite, I think it is, tell me what you think, be nice though. Thanks!**_


	11. Why Did He Let Her Go At All?

_**Thanks for the reviews! Will try to update as soon as pos, I'm back to school you see. New chappie. Done to "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. Listen to it. I think it tells Henry's story, or, the story I'm trying to tell for him. This SHORT chapter concentrates fully on Henry. Enjoy it!**_

Eleven 

11th April

6:30pm

Henry pulled his pocketwatch out of his jacket, he flipped up the gold lid, he breathed through his teeth as he snapped the lid shut.

He glanced up, Charles was half an hour late.

He sighed, he bit his lip and turned his head sharply at a noise.

"Evening, Mr. Wilde" Charles' Lancashire accent tore through the night air.

"Mr. Lightoller" Henry said, he approached Charles, "You're half an hour late"

"And you're always on time, aren't you, Mr. Wilde? Never too early, never too late, always on the dot" a eyebrow raised Charles smirked,sliding around and away from Henry.

"No, I'm not always dead on time, but I'm not 30 minutes late" Henry snarled at him.

Charles' ice blue eys turned toward Henry's much more darker, oceanic blue, "But you were too late for your wife, weren't you?".

Henry lowered his eyelids, he had known that Charles knew his weakness, and he knew the man's bluntness. "You couldn't be on time for her, could you?" Charles sneered "The 'love of your life', that's what you boasted, 'the prettiest girl in the world' you called her, why couldn't you be on time for her?"

Henry looked up "For once in your life, Charles, do us all a favour, and shutup!" he shouted, Charles raised his eyebrow, "And...for once..." Henry couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth "...you're right. Why couldn't I have been on time for Polly, my Polly, why? The love of my life, the prettiest girl in the world, why did I let her go alone?"

Charles shrugged "Dunno. But you've only got yourself to blame", he turned to stand on watch.

And instead of turning to the wheelhouse, Henry began to walk down the Starboard boat deck, in a world of his own.

Henry stopped after a while, only to lean on one of the great cables that held up one of the even greater funnells.

He looked up into the sky. As he stared up into the cool evening air, he smiled slightly "He's right, Pol. Why did I let you go alone?" he asked quiety.

"Why did I let you go at all?"

_**Wow! That's a short one. But I hopeits good. R+R! Thanks! Will update soon!**_


	12. Disappearing

_**HEY!Wrote this to "You Raise Me Up" by Westlife, I hope you like, show's how our leading lady's feeling after the split and introuduces some of my OCs. Hope you enjoy.MAJOR SPOILER in italics at the end, if you do not wish to read, skip the italics!**_

Twelve

12th April

12:20pm

Helen sat on the deckchair as she watched Thomas take Beth into his arms and walk over to the side of the ship, she smiled gently as Beth pointed to the vast ocean in front of her, she watched Thomas look at her and then suddenly tickle her under her chin, she heard Beth giggle and bury her head and neck in her father's coat.

Her little girl was happy.

She looked up as she heard the scuffle of boots on wood and turned to see the Lightoller boys, Andrew and Richard, trying to tackle their leather football off one another. She was left puzzled when they suddenly stopped and stood bolt upright.

She looked to her left and she saw Charles and Sylvie Lightoller walking down the boatdeck toward their sons, Sylvie broke awy from Charles and came and sat beside Helen, smiling as she greeted her "Good afternoon, Helen"

Helen smiled back "Good afternoon, Sylvie". She looked as Charles walked in front of his boys, he stopped when he reached Andrew, Charles then reached out his beauiful long hands, and with his even longer fingers her yanked Andrew's chin up "Head up, Andrew" he smiled "You're a Lightoller, be proud, don't look down". Andrew smiled "Yes, Dad"

"Good" Charles smiled, he then ruffled both his sons's hair and cocked his head to one side "Off you go, go reek havoc on some unfourtunate steward" "Charles!" Sylvie exclaimed, Charles turned to his wife and grinned at her "Okay, don't do that. Do something more productive".

Andrew and Richard both nodded simultanously before scurrying off.

Charles smiled and strode over the Helen and his wife.

Helen looked at Charles "Mr. Lightoller" she nodded. "Mrs. Andrews" Charles returned her greeting.

"How are you today?" Helen asked, intending to turn Charles' wellbeing into Henry's.

"I'm very well, thank you" Charles said.

"And the other officers? The Chief?"

"The Chief? Now, Mrs. Andrews why would you be interested in the wellbeing of our Mr. Wilde?"

"I'm just generally concerned, when I saw him last, he seemed a bit distant"

Charles chuckled "Well if he seemed distant when you saw him yesterday morning, he's away with the bloody fairies now, can't get a word out of him, not that I ever intend to, but he barely says a word, just a nod, he's lost it, he really has"

What Charles had just told her hit Helen hard. She hadn't expected Henry to be lost, almost gone, from the outside world. But it didn't matter to her anymore, he didn't matter to her.He was nothing more than a distant memory.

But you can still think about memories.

Helen stood up and called to her husband "Darling, I'm just going to check on Edward"

Thomas nodded "Allright, I won't send out a search party"

Helen laughed lightly before walking off. As she walked down the near empty hallway that led to her stateroom she felt a shadow come up behind her, she began to walk more briskly, but the shadow still came close.

She suddenly felt a hand creep across her mouth and another cold hand push her against the wall.

She couldn't scream, but she wanted to spit when she saw that familiar moustache and heard that slimy voice "I would like a word with you, Mrs. Andrews"

_**Okay! Thanks for reading! You don't have to read this part. **_

_Henry had had enough. He knew it was the end. _

_His ocean blue eye's showed no fear, no pain, no emotion as they looked up nd into the swirling water that was beginning to engulf the aft of A-deck._

_He was ready._

_He was going to die._

_And he knew it._

_He smiled. And looked up into the clear night sky "This the fate you planned out for me, God" he smirked "Is _this_ how you want me to go?" he paused "Very well"_

_Then Henry Wilde uttered his last words as A-deck had become engulfed by the ice water._

"_Come on then, God. You've taken my father, my beloved, and my twin boys, you've taken evrything I held dear to me, and now you've come to take me. Come on, show me what you're made of"_

_He took one last puff on his cigarette before throwing it onto the deck. And closing his eyes, the sea took him._

_**You like, I'm planning to add a bit more, that's hopefully just a bit of a chapter. **_


	13. Tainted Accents

_**Thanks for the nice reviews! Luv you all, written to "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Hope you all enjoy!**_

Thirteen

12th April

11:20pm

Henry looked round as he noticed movement in the corner of his eye. He pursed his lips and called "Andrew"

Charles' eldest son stopped, black hair sticking up in tufts, green eyes wide with excitement.

Henry liked Andrew, and his brother, so he wasn't really going to tell Andrew off, just question him. He smiled at Andrew and walked toward him "Tell me, young Master Lightoller, why would a nice young man like you, be down here?"

"No reason" Andrew smiled as Henry stood directly in front of him.

Henry raised an eyebrow "Really? Not anything to do with your dad?"

Andrew shook his head "Well, I was just gonna tell him what happened at dinner, he missed it you see, cos of his watch, and he missed the argument between Mr. Ismay and Mr. Andrews"

"They had an argument? What happened?" Henry asked, letting himself relax as Andrew began.

"Well, Ismay was ranting on about wedding plans,you know, he wants Elizabeth Andrews to marry his son, anyway, Ismay was on about that, Mr. Andrews had been looking quite sick all evening, anyway,Mrs. Andrews wasn't there either, and, anyway, Mr. Andrews suddenly told Ismay to shut up and go find another girl to steal away from her parents, Ismay thought he was joking, but Andrews, he wasn't, and then Andrews excused himself and walked out" Andrew was smiling like a madman when he finished.

"Mrs. Andrews wasn't there?" Henry asked.

"No" Andrew shook his head "Didn't appear all evening. Apparantly she was feeling ill"

"Right" Henry nodded.

He looked up as he saw Charles walking toward them.

"Evening, Mr. Wilde" Charles nodded.

Henry nodded solemnly, "Your boy was just telling me about what happened down below after you left"

"Really" Charles said, grabbing Andrew by the neck and pretending to strangle him whilst Andrew performed a melodramatic shoking sequence.

"I thought I told you that you weren't to come up here" Charles said.

"You did. Up until Richard stole your book, then you let me off" Andrew smiled.

"Did I now? Well, I'm sure your mother will want to be getting you to bed, and my bed's calling me aswell, so how about you go back to your cabin, and tomorrow you can tell me all about tonight" Charles smiled.

Andrew nodded "Night, Dad. Night, Mr. Wilde"

Henry laughed "Good night, Andrew"

Andrew then broke into a slight run as he turned the corner back down the starboard boat deck.

Charles smiled smugly "That boy's going to be just like me when he's older"

"What?" Henry retaliated "An annoying, two-faced, prank-pulling bastard who can't hold his tongue"

It was his turn to be smug as he heard Charles stammer "N...n-no...No" he finally managed to say "He's not like me"

"Oh? And I thought you just said he is going to be 'just like you'"Henry laughed, putting on a rather good Lancashire accent as he quoted Charles.

"At least I ain't a bloody scouse!" Charles spat back in an tainted Liverpool accent.

Henry held up his hands in defeat "Well, Mr. Lightoller, I'm proud to be called a scouse, and if you don't mind I'm going to hit the hay"

"For once, Henry. That seems like a pretty good idea you've suggested there" Charles laughed, his normal accent crackling in his throat.

_**You like? You gotta have some comedy in such a tradgedy warped story! R R please, thanks! **_


	14. On How To Survive Dinner

_**Done to "Everything Burns" by Anastacia. New chappie! More serious! Hope you enjoy!1 more day till sinking!**_

Fourteen

13th April

9:05am

Henry rubbed his eyes as he walked out into the April sunlight. The tired look faded as he placed his cap on his head. He smiled at the day ahead, his youngest daughter, Lily, was five today, and allthough he couldn't be there in person, he could be there in spirit. Hopefully the letter he posted at Queenstown had reached them, as had the present Henry had bought for her in one of the harbourside markets.

He had bought his little girl a little silver heart shaped locket which, when opened, played a sweet melody.

He then snapped back into reality and turned to see Charles standing on watch, his auburn hair swaying in the stiff breeze that swept across the Atlantic. Henry smiled, Charles was never the type to talk to anyone about much, let alone Henry, so he wasn't going to push the man into a conversation.

He then quietly crept round the starboard bridge wing and onto the boat deck. He yawned as he leant out over the side of the ship, feeling the sea breeze in his hair, the freshness that his face received when he was at sea. He was at home when he was at work. He wasn't sure if it made entire sense, to be at home whilst at work, but he liked the feeling it gave him.

He looked up as he heard Will's voice "Y'allright, Henry?" asked the Scotsman as he walked up to stand beside Henry.

"Yeah. I'm fine, you?" Henry replied.

"I'm okay. Just a bit nervous about tonight thats all" Will admitted, as he shuffled from one foot to the other.

"Dinner?" Henry guessed.

"Yes, actually" Will smiled.

Henry laughed and turned to his friend "Well, if you survive, I'll give you one of my smokes free of charge"

Will chuckled "And if I don't survive?"

"I'll take your lighter and your smokes"

Will laughed and asked "It isn't that bad, is it?"

"No" Henry shook his head "Youv'e just gotta have enough patience and sanity to last five and a half hours of bloody Bruce Ismay"

"Thank God!" Will said "I've got my watch before it finishes so I'll be out an hour early"

Henry smiled "Lucky sod! I'll come and remind you if you like"

"Sure. Save me before I go insane and kill myself" Will cried, imitating a pistol in his mouth.

Henry then asked "D'yout wanna go on a walk? Before everyone gets up"

"Okay" Will nodded "Give me some more pointers on how to survive dinner"

Henry chuckled as he popped a smoke in his mouth and lit it, offering Will one, they began to walk down the boat deck, as they exchaned dinner surviving tips.

_**Like? Please R R! Thanks!**_


	15. Ice Dunking and Loving the Dead

_**New chapter! Done to "Hero" by Nickelback. Here goes...**_

Fifteen

13th April

9:15am

Henry chuckled as Will made a rude remark about Ismay "You're terrible, Will, but _so_ right!"he scolded the younger man.

Will shrugged "I'll go stand in the corner with the Dunces hat on, shall I?" he smiled.

"Then go to Captain Smith for a few slaps on the arm with the cane" Henry added.

Will winced and rubbed his forearm "Don't remind me of that bloody murder weapon! I swear at my school they killed some of the girls and hid the bodies outside!"

Henry laughed "At least you had the cane. My school, Mrs. Beadle, headmistress, still there now, in fact, didn't believe in the use of canes. It was a whack around the back of your head and if that didn't work a good old dunking in ice cold water"

Will laughed "And how did they punish you?"

"Ah, well!" Henry raised his eyebrows "I probably spent the majority of my school life being dunked rather than learning anything! I left that Godforsaken place at twelve and never looked back"

Will laughed "Nah, I finished school at fifteen and played cricket for the next two years"

Henry snorted "I went straight into sailing, just like my dad, and his dad, and his dad. Mrs Beadle said I wouldn't amount to anything, and to a certain extent she was right. But my lot go there now, and Freddie always comes home soaking"

"Dunking?" Will asked

"Yep" Henry pulled his faded cigarette out of his mouth and threw it into the ocean "Just like his dad"

The two men continued walking down the boat deck in a strange silence until Will said "You know Mrs. Andrews?"

"Yes"Henry nodded, wondering what was coming next.

"Have you taken a fancy to her?" Will asked, his eyes glittering.

"WHAT?! Henry cried "No!" he shrugged "Well, sort of, but even _you_ have to admit she's a pretty girl"

"Did I say she wasn't?" Will asked "Yeah, if I was sailing alone I'd say aloud she's a pretty thing, but since I've got Emily and Catie with me, there's too many pricked ears"

"Know what you mean" Henry agreed "Yeah, Helen is pretty, and I'd have her if she weren't married and I wasn't a father to four children."

"Do you like being called a widower?" Will asked

Henry looked down and sighed "No I don't, it makes me feel old and innocent of Polly's death. When, in actual fact, I'm not old, and I was partly to blame for her death"

"No you're not" Will said gently, placing a hand on Henry's shoulder.

"Yes I am" Henry nodded "Looking back, I know I could have done something, _anything_, that would have spared her, and the twins. I feel guilty, every single night I lay awake thinking things over, what could I have done? I would have laid down and died for Polly, for the twins, I would have gladly given my life to spare theirs. I'm telling you, Will, don't let go of Emily and Catie, don't let them go the way I let Polly and the boys go, even though they don't seem like much to you, when they're gone, you finally realise what you had, and by then, it's too late"

He looked up "Don't begin to love after love itsself has died"

_**Like? CHEESY, I know, tell me what you think!**_


	16. Recapturing The Dreamcatcher

_**NEW CHAPTER! Written to "Hurt" by Christina Aguilera. Finally you get to see what happened to Helen.**_

Sixteen

13th April

10:30pm

Helen once again ran her face over the red mark on her cheek. She winced as she remembered the impact with the table. She bit her lip, she had refused to come to dinner the previous evening, she didn't intend to go to lunch this afternoon, but she couldn't keep making up excuses.

She sighed and looked down, "You're so stupid, Helen" she told herself "Thinking he loved you truly". She looked up as she heard a knock at her stateroom door. She walked over to open it. Molly Brown, Ruth DeWittBukater and the Countess of Rothes stood there.

"Hello, darlin'" Molly said "You okay?"

Heln nodded "Yes, I'm fine"

"You wanna come up on deck with us?" Molly asked.

"No, I don't think I could"Helen faltered.

"Why not?" Molly enquired "Afraid of seeing a certain Mr. Wilde?"

"Yes, actually" Helen smiled "But I'm sure he won't be about. Of course I'll come" she pulled her shawl off the back of the chair and pulled it around her shoulders "I'm just going out for some air, "Trudy" she called to her personal maid "I'm just going out for some air"

She shut the door behind her and looked at the three other women "Ready?" she asked.

_Up on the deck..._

Helen laughed as she walked with Molly, the Countess and reluctantly with Ruth. She smiled and said "Yes, I will be at dinner tonight, rest assured"

She looked up as Molly whispered into her ear "Look, sweetie, it's your Dreamcatcher!"

Molly was right.

Henry stood there, leaning out over the side of the ship, dark blue eyes bright and evocative of the life he was desperatly trying to hold together, if not for his sake, then for his children. Helen watched as he looked down, and after breathing out deeply, placing his cap on his head and beginning to walk away, she watched him tense, and sesing he was being watched, he turned his head.

He looked at her with those eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, he gave her a bold nod and smile. And then walked off, lingering only for a few seconds to once again stare into the ocean .

Helen wanted to run after him and take whatever pain he felt away.

Even though their relationship was over, Helen still loved him, and if he didn't feel the same way, she wanted to revive in him something that was dorment. Not dead but dorment.

But she couldn't, it would destroy all she had built up in the 'sociable' circles on the ocean liner, to love a once married officer at all would be thought of as unclean, but to love another whislt married.

Helen didn't want to contemplate what would happen.

But Helen didn't care.

She would, once again, fall into the arms of the Dreamcatcher.

Her Dreamcatcher.

_**Like? Please be nice in reviews!**_


	17. As Mad As A March Hare

_**NEW CHAPPIE! Written to "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield as it's both Henry and Helen's POV's.This is one of my only chapters with relevance to the actual Titanic movie, plus the dinner chapter later on. Hope you enjoy, here goes...**_

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?_

_If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?_

_If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call_

_If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all_

_I'll never know what the future brings _

_But I know you're here with me now_

_We'll make it through _

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

_If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?_

_If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?_

_If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?_

_If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?_

_I don't know why you're so far away _

_But I know that this much is true_

_We'll make it through _

_And I hope you are the one I share my life with_

_And I wish that you could be the one I die with_

_And I pray in you're the one I build my home with_

_I hope I love you all my life_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am_

_Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?_

'_Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away_

_And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today_

'_Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right_

_And though I can't be with you tonight_

_You know my heart is by your side_

_I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand_

_If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am_

_Is there any way that I could stay in your arms_

Seventeen

13th April

16:05pm

Helen was accompanying Molly into the Reception Room, Elizabeth at her side, the lively two year old bounced alongside her mother, brown curls trailing down her back, sky blue eyes wide as she took in the world around her.

Helen looked up as Captain Smith approached her from a nearby table, at which sat Mr. Ismay, "This can't be little Elizabeth, can it?" Smith smiled, bending down to the little girl's level, "Aren't you a pretty one?" he tapped Beth on the nose, making her giggle he stood up and looked at Helen "She obviously gets her beauty from her mother", he smiled as Helen blushed a pale pink.

"How are you, Captain?" Helen asked, "I have been better, lunching with Bruce Ismay is anything but exciting" Smith raised his eyebrows before walking back to Ismay's table.

Helen then continued with Molly over to where the Countess, Ruth DeWittBukater and a woman Helen did not recgonise were sitting, he saw Ruth glance over at Moly, scowl then stand up as Molly said "Hello, girls, we were hoping to catch you at tea"

"We're awfully sorry, you missed it" Ruth smiled politely she turned to the Countess "The Countess and I were going to take the air up on the boat deck"

"What a lovely idea! Helen and I need to catch up on our gossip" Molly smiled.

Ruth nodded and sidled past, as she fell in step with the unknown woman, Molly and Helen brought up a conversation with the Countess, who was utterly amazed by Beth.

Helen then turned round with suprise as she saw two arms stoop down and scoop Beth up, she relaxed as she heard Thomas' voice "There you are. Been looking everywhere for you".

Helen smiled "Do you want to take her?" she asked, Thomas nodded "All-right" he turned his attention to Beth "Where do you want to go?", "Anywhere?" Beth asked "Absolutely anywhere" Thomas smiled, Beth pondered before saying "Can you draw me a kitty?", Thomas bent his head close to Beth's "Of course I can" he murmured, before beginning to walk away from Helen whilst asking their daughter what type of kitty she would prefer.

Helen smiled before hurrying to catch up with Molly and the others.

Henry leaned out over the Bridge's Starboard Wing, he was two hours into his four hour watch. He was bored, and he wanted to shout at someone, preferably Charles, for reasons he could not describe.

He glanced to his left and saw Will with his daughter, Catie, being only a few years older than Lilly, Catie was the apple of her father's eye, as was Lilly to Henry. Henry watched as Will danced a Scottish folk dance with his little girl, tapping his foot in time as she copied his moves.

He then watched Charles as he was teaching his sons some supposed football moves, he heard Charles say to Andrew "Sorry", he then winced as Andrew kicked him in the shin and cried to Richard "Let's get him!", Richard and Andrew then pushed their father to the floor and began to wrestle with him, until Andrew began to shout "You've got my arm, Rich, you've got my arm!", Charles laughed menacingly and caught Andrew in an head lock..

Henry laughed before turning back to his duty, he sighed as he remembered the fun times he'd had with his children, yes, they still had fun times nowadays, but all five of them secretly knew it could neaver _really_ be the same, not again. Even if Henry did take a new wife, which was never going to happen, she would never replace the mother of his children, no matter how hard she tried.

He missed Helen, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her out of his head. Her name resided in his mind. If she wasn' the one, at least temporarily, it would be like calling Charles reasonable. And Henry would have to be tortured by the man to make him say that.

She was the one.

And Henry would win her heart.

He smiled to himself, "You're as mad as a march hare, Henry" he told himself, using one of his Grandmother's favourite sayings, "But you're so bloody right"

_**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Hope this is good. R R please, thanks!**_


	18. Dealing More Than Cards

_**NEW CHAPPIE! Written to "Saying Sorry" by Hawthorne Heights! First bit takes part at Henry's house in Walton, Liverpool, just getting to know the kids a bit more. I don't know whether they have different times, its just for the fic..Here goes...**_

Eighteen

13th April

14.05pm (Liverpool)

18.05(Atlantic)

A chorus of people chanting "Happy Birthday" filled the Parlour of the Wilde family home, as the song's receiver, little Lilly Wilde knelt on the carpet in front of the coffee table, on which sat a sponge cake iced with white fondant, five little candles that had been pushed into the icing were gently burning.

"_...Happy Birthday to you!" _the song ended with a cheer from the two elder Wilde children, Freddie and Sarah, as their Grandmother said "Blow out your candles, Lilly".

Lilly took a deep breath and closed her eyes as Freddie told her "Don't forget to make a wish".

Lilly nodded before breathing out, hence blowing out all her candles. Her two aunties applauded, as did Sarah, Freddie and her Grandmother, Benji just sat waiting to have his slice of cake.

"Right" Mrs. Wilde said, picking up her skirts as she bent down and reached for the cake knife, "Who'd like the first slice?"

"ME!" Freddie and Benji raised their hands and cried in unison, Mrs. Wilde was just about to open her mouth when they heard a knock at the door.

"I'll get it" Sarah lifted herself of the sofa and walked swiftly out into the hallway. She reached up and undid the chain that helped secure the heavy wooden door, before pulling it open, Mr. Winters, the local postman stood in front of her.

"Ah, Sarah" he smiled "This just came for you" he held out a envelope with the White Star Line's logo in the corner and with the familiar scrawl which was her father's handwriting. "Thank you" Sarah smiled, taking the letter, she gasped as she looked at the name of the ship under the White Star's logo "Anything wrong?" Mr. Winters asked. "No" Sarah shook her head, smiling "My daddy's the Chief Officer on the _Titanic_!", "Congratulations" Mr. Winters smiled "That's something to talk about". Sarah smiled as Mr. Winters waved and began to walk down the road.

Sarah bounced happily back into the front room, opening the letter as she did so, she then felt a second letter and a package inside the envelope, she pulled the smaller letter out and looked at her father's hand on the top _For a special little girl, _obviously for Lilly.

She smiled as she flopped down on the sofa beside Freddie who had obviously won the duel for the first bite of cake, as Benji was glaring at him as he licked his fingers. She then fell right back into the hubbub of the party. Lilly grabbed the envelope and tipped it right side up, a little white paper bag fell out, she shook the bag and smiled as she heard a jingle of jewellery.

She ripped open the bag in true Lilly-style, and gasped as she held up the silver lullaby necklace, with _Lilly_ engraved on it in black.

Freddie whistled "Wow"

Sarah thanked her Grandmother as she was passed a slice of cake on a plate.

She decided she would read the family letter later, along with another discovery she had made. The childhood diary of her mother.

Henry closed his black diary with a snap, he bit his lip as he put his pen down. He'd written his intentions in ink, he couldn't change them now. His heart was now set in stone.

He looked up as Jim Moody popped his head around the door, "Wanted to come and play some poker with me and Harry?"

Henry smiled and stood up "Nah. I don't think I will"

"Why?"

Henry's eyes glittered "You know you'd finish the night a very poor man"

Jim nodded, laughing "True, but you only live once, better live it dangerously. And besides, if we gambled with Charles, he'd bet his house"

Henry couldn't help expressing laughter "Well, if we all gambled like Mr. Lightoller, I think I'd be living on the streets with only a dog for company right now. Not Chief Officer on the most grandest ship on the ocean"

"Hear, hear" Jim nodded, raising an imaginary glass in a toast. "Coming?" he asked

"Yeah" Henry smiled, closing his cabin door behind him as Jim led him out.

"Where's Will gone?" Jim asked.

"Oh" Henry raised his eyebrows as he popped a smoke into his mouth from where they permanently lived in his inside pocket. "He's landed himself with a one-way ticket to hell"

he told Jim as he lit the smoke and inhaled deeply.

Jim laughed as they entered the smoking room "First-class?" he asked.

"Yep" Henry nodded as he sat down in between Harold Lowe and Jim, he then added "Caledon Hockeley to be precise"

"Ouch" Jim cringed as he sat down and passed Henry the cards to deal "Your shuffle"

"Trust me" Henry smiled as he began to deal the cards "I'm dealing a lot more than cards from tonight"

"Trust me"

_**Like? Please read and review. Thanks!**_


	19. Bittersweet

_**NEW UPDATE! Written to "How To Save A Life" by The Fray. Pretty decent chapter as far as length goes. Hope you enjoy.**_

Nineteen

13th April

9:55pm

Helen looked sympathetically over the dinner table at Will Murdoch. Yes, the wiry Scot could take care of himself, but it still wasn't fair to be alienated in First-Class at the table of some of the most upper crust people on the liner. 

But, tonight, he wasn't alone. A young man named Jack Dawson was a guest of DeWitt Bukater invitation, apparently from Third-Class, but Helen refused to believe it because this charming young man was more polite and empathetic than the actual First-Class passengers. 

The Captain was also dining with them, as was Emily Murdoch, the wife of Will and daughter of the Captain. The Astor's were also dining with them, as was Mr. Ismay, Colonel Gracie, the DeWitt Bukaters with Cal Hockley and Molly Brown. 

Helen's eyes looked toward the Captain as he lifted his head and smiled "Ah, Henry, come to join us?", Helen turned to look as Henry approached, wearing his usual uniform with the addition of a long grey jacket, with his Rank on brocades on the jacket's shoulders, the jackets high collar was pulled up just below Henry's neck. "No, sir, not at all. I've come to collect Mr. Murdoch for his watch"

Helen smiled as she saw relief flood Will's face and saw him mouth "Thank you" to Henry as he stood up. 

Will smiled as he saw Henry's fresh face "Cold out there?" he asked.

Henry smiled a fool's grin and nodded "Yep. You'll freeze your privates off out there, mate, let me tell you"

Will groaned "Why couldn't I have been a doctor?", Henry smiled "We all wish we weren't stuck in this hell hole for a job, but we'll live"

Will nodded a broad smile on his face "Suppose we will"

Henry's calm, dreamlike blue gaze suddenly set upon Helen, "Hel-Mrs. Andrews, it's lovely to see you looking well again"

Helen smiled up at him "Thank you, Mr. Wilde. It's good to see you again"

Henry returned the smile, he then diverted his attention back to Will "Come on, let's get you up there, before Charles leaves the ship to run into something"

Will laughed "I'm surprised he hasn't been on the whiskey"

Henry chuckled as he showed Will the easiest route through the forest of elaboratley decorated tables with just elaboratley decorated passengers sitting at them eating some delicacy not fit for the stomach of an officer. 

Henry then fell in step with Will "Have fun?" he asked, a grin spreading across his face.

Will then smiled, half bemused by Henry's question "Did I look like I had fun?"

Henry then glanced at him before turning back and shaking his head "No, not really"

"Well then, there's you answer"Will chuckled as they ascended the stairs.

"Oh, and by the way" Will said "Is poker still gonna be going when my watch is over?"

Henry smirked "Probably. That's if I haven't won all Harry and Jim's money"

Will smiled "That's good".

Henry felt a hand brush his. He looked back, "Helen?" he asked, it was her, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders.

"We need to talk" she whispered, looking desperate.

Henry glanced toward Will, he winced and called out "Will, I'll see you back up at the bridge"

Will then raised two fingers to acknowledge Henry.

Henry then turned his full attention to Helen "What's wrong?" he asked.

Helen grabbed his upper arm and pulled him over into a corner on the second landing of the Grand Staircase. B-Deck.

She was shaking, her whole body trembling, Henry gently took her hands in his and said softly "It's okay. Really, it is"

Helen shook her head so hard her neck clicked "No, no it's not okay"

"What are you talking about?" Henry asked, his eyebrows raising in concern.

"It's Ismay. He knows, about us, and he's told me that if I don't stop seeing you..."

"But, we've stopped seeing one another" Henry said, puzzled.

"I know, I know! But he said if he can't have Elizabeth as Jonathon's bride, he'll look further afield, he told me he'd look to your Sarah as a bride"

Henry's eyes, bright because of his high spirits, suddenly faded "Sarh?" he asked "He want's my Sarah to be his son's bride?"

"Yes" Helen nodded.

Henry looked down, he then opened his eyes again returned to their normal, beautiful blue "I'm not going to let that happen. Not to Sarah. Not to my little girl" he looked up "And I don't want anything to happen to you, Helen. The thing is, I love you"

"Really?" Helen asked.

"Really" Henry nodded "Do you love me?"

"Yes" Helen smiled, her eye's warm and affectionate "Yes I do, Dreamcatcher"

Henry smiled, raising and eyebrow he said "Don't annoy me with that, stop my lips with a kiss"

Helen laughed "Allright then" and she done just what Henry had asked. As her lps touched his, she knew it was wrong. But it felt so right. But little did she know, the time she would share with her beloved Dreamcatcher would be all too short. 

_**Hope you all enjoy! Can u get other titanicy people to read this please? Thanks!**_


	20. Addicted

_**Okay! New idea! Scrap the idea that Helen has a son with Thomas, I have a new idea! Lols! Tis a secret.Here goes with new chappie.**_

Twenty

14th April

5:10am

Helen awoke again, but not in the same bed, she was back in her cabin, with her husband beside her. Not the Dreamcatcher, who had ever so gently woken her from her slumber and escorted her away from the bridge earlier that morning.

Thomas, however, had luckily been up all night in the smoking room, which was unlike him, Helen thought, he never smoked, or stayed up to do so. Did he know something? Had he guessed?

Helen didn't want to press anything. But as she heard him sleeping beside her, she realised that if he did know, he was keeping it very quiet,also unlike him, as he always spoke out about things that concerned him.

It was puzzling to Helen. But what made her affair with Henry even more heartbreaking to continue with was the fact that Elizabeth had turned cold towards her, refusing to let her brush her hair, or play with her. It was as if she could sense her mother's red hot, firey passion for the Chief Officer, and the lust that she drowned in when his name was mentioned in conversation.

She was addicted to Henry. Every minute of her waking day, she would now think of him, his strong, handsome face, with that perfect nose, those finely tuned eyebrows and his unforgettable eyes. Oceanic eyes. Eyes that would soon haunt her forever.

Henry was still beaming as he stood on watch, it was only 3 hours since he had last saw Helen, but his heart had been given a new lease of life by the beautiful young girl. Something Henry never expected to feel again.

Charles, who proclaimed to see all after getting drunk the night before, lived up to the reputation of his merry self as he noticed Henry's unusual happiness.

"Why are you grinning like the Cheshire Cat this morning, Mr. Wilde?" Charles asked.

"Bloody Hell, Charles, it's a bit early for you isn't it?" Henry asked "You've got 50 minutes till your watch you know"

"You didn't answer my question" Charles butted in, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, Charles. I guess you could say I'm addicted" Henry smiled smugly.

"Addicted to what?" Charles asked.

"Look, I hate you, you hate me. I'm not about to spill my guts out to you just because you were helping me at poker last night"

"I wasn't willfully helping you" Charles informed him "That was down to a lot of whiskey"

"I figured that out for myself, thanks very much" Henry replied back.

"So, what are you addicted to, Henry?" Charles pressed

Henry laughed "What part of the word 'no' do you not understand, Mr. Lightoller?"

"I'll get it out of you, one way or another" Charles grinned, the bubbly look on his face still hinting he wasn't fully sober as he walked rather unbalanced into the Officers Quarters.

Henry smiled. He was addicted.

Addicted to Helen.

_**Hope you liked!**_


	21. I Can See The Whole World!

_**New chappie! I've got a LOT of time to do this as I've got NO EXAMS wahooo!! Lol! Here it is! Its a little bit of Rose, Cal, and Ruth, but only for this chapter!**_

Twenty-one

14th April

11:30pm

Helen patiently waited for her husband and his tour group with Sylvie Lightoller and Emily Murdoch outside of the gymnasium. She was half the world away when Emily gently called her "Helen".

She looked up and smiled "Yes" she said sweetly, "It's best we were moving on" Thomas said, his blue eyes glittering like the sea beneath them. "Were are we off to next?" Emily asked as she fell in step with Helen and Sylvie, "The Bridge" Thomas replied. Helen's heart skipped a beat, the Bridge, that meant Henry.

Henry blinked as he walked out into the beautiful Sunday morning, after running a hand through his messy black hair he placed his cap on his head and strode over to Will, who was leaning out over the starboard bridge wing.

Will looked up as Henry approached and gave him a smile "Morning" he said, "Good morning" Henry replied "Good watch?".

Will paused before raising an eyebrow "Is it ever?", Henry then grinned "Point taken".

"Captain says we have to be on our best behaviour this morning" Will said, changing the subject, "Really?" Henry asked "I wonder why?", "Apparently we've got Mr Andrews' tour group coming up for a look" Will said rather unenthusiastically "If it's the company from last night I'm seriously going to consider suicide" he ended his speech with his tight lips slowly curving into a jokey grin.

Henry laughed "You really can't hold back a smile, can you?", "At least I _can_ smile" Will added, Henry then nodded "At least you have something to smile for" he agreed "My smile faded a long time ago". He could sense Will watching him so he quickly looked up "Is that Catie I see?" he asked, nodding to the small figure running towards them.

Will looked up and pride flashed across his face "That's my girl" he said, as Catie ran into him, golden hair dishevelled from running, hair band falling in front of her dark green eyes. Henry watched as Will picked his daughter up and pushed her hair band back onto the top of her head.

Henry smiled as he watched the sweet scene of Will whispering something to his daughter, before making her giggle, he then tickled her under the chin and Catie erupted into a fit of giggles, burying her head into her father's jacket.

Catie's shining eyes then looked up to Henry "Can I go on your shoulders, Mr. Wilde?" she asked. Henry then smiled and said "Course you can" he ran a finger down Catie's soft cheek.

He carefully put his hands round Catie and hoisted her above his head and sat her on his shoulders "You on?" he asked, Catie nodded and exclaimed "Wow! You can see the whole world up here", "Yep, it's nice isn't it?" Henry asked, Catie nodded again "I could stay up here forever", "I don't think Mr. Wilde would be comfortable with that" Will smiled "Come on, Catie, get down now, if Mr. Ismay is on this tour and see's you up there hell be on Mr. Wilde like a tonne of bricks".

Catie nodded obediently and slid easily down Henry's back.

She turned to look at him "Thank you, Mr. Wilde!" she beamed, green eyes twinkling.

Henry smiled.

That had been the first time a child had looked at him like that in nearly two years, a child who had looked at him and smiled, and they had meant it.

When Henry looked into Catie's eyes he saw his Sarah, the girl he couldn't bear to look at in the days and weeks after Polly's death, because of her appearance Henry couldn't look at his daughter, and inisisted she tie her hair back. But after a year, it hit Henry that it was really his children that mattered, not him. And on the morning he's left for Southampton, he'd told Sarah to keep her hair down and remind him of her mother.

But little did Henry and the rest of the bridge know that in less than 24 hours there would be no more "Ship of Dreams", and no more H. T. Wilde.

_**Is a second part to this chappie! Hope you like!**_


	22. Funeral Invitations

_**OK!Formalhaut you asked for action so here it is avec Mr Ismay. This is going to be a bit longer than my usual chapters so bear with.**_

Twenty-two

14th April

11:40am

Henry's jaw tightened as he saw Ismay turn around the corner into the bridge, deep in conversation with Caledon Hockley. Whether Ismay knew that Henry knew about his scheming plans for Sarah or not, Henry was going to put a stop to it.

His way.

He nodded at Hockley and Ismay as they passed him to talk with the Captain, the tight jaw he had been keeping suddenly softened as Helen turned the corner, he smiled warmly at her, but being discreet enough as not to arouse suspicion.

Helen gave him a sweet smile in return and quickly turned to where Thomas was gossiping with Hockley, Ismay and the Captain. Henry riased his eyebrows and turned away towards the wheelhouse where Will was standing to attention, his collar straining at his neck.

Will gave Henry a suffocating grin as Henry turned on his heel to stand next to him. "When are they going?" Will rasped, Henry shrugged "Why? You suffocating?", Will nodded helplessly "I hate the man who invented collars". Henry smiled, looking back out to sea, only to see Ismay standing in front of him.

Henry then said politely as he could "Yes, Mr.Ismay?" "Can I have a word?" Ismay asked.

"Perfect" Henry muttered under his breath, he then nodded to Ismay "Of course".

Ismay invited him to walk "Shall we?". "Yes" Henry said as they began to walk away from the bridge.

They walked until Henry was ceratin they were out of sight then he turned on Ismay.

"I know" he growled simply.

"Know what?" Ismay laughed.

"What you plan to do to my Sarah" Henry raised a eyeborw "Ring any bells?"

"Yes, now you mention it, I do remember organising Sarah to become Johnathan's bride"Ismay smirked.

"Without my consent?" Henry grinned darkly, slowly trapping Ismay against the wall.

"No, of course I assumed you'd be happy to get rid of-" Ismay was cut off as Henry lunged forward, grabbing him round the neck and twisting his head sharply to the right, Henry leaned in and hissed "How dare you" Ismay gasped for air.

"AH!" Henry snarled "That's where _you_ are _wrong_, Mr. Ismay. You see I _do _dare. And I could kill you right here, but, I unlike you, have a conscience, and this time, I'm going to let you go. But if..." he paused only to tighten his grip on Ismay's throat "If you come near my family and if you lay a finger on either of my girls, you'll be inviting me to you own funeral. Got it?"

Ismay, who was almost in tears, slowly nodded as Henry let him go. "Well" Ismay said with a weak grin "I'll keep that in mind".

Noticing the sarcasm in his voice, Henry said sternly "I'm serious you know, if you go anywhere near Sarah, I'll kill you"

Ismay nodded, he smartened himself up again before walking back to the bridge.

Henry stared after him, he wasn't the man to be violent, but where his family, and especially his eldest daughter, whom he had a soft spot for, when they were concerned, Henry could and would harm anyone who threatened them.

Henry turned to the ocean, watching the gentle waves glide across endless

seas. He smiled before pulling out of his jacket's inner pocket the gold heart-shaped locket that Polly had given him the day she'd died.

He wound the locket around his hand only to open his palm to reveal the engraved words _Beloved_ on the locket's front. He closed his hand and rested his head on his fist for a second. He lifted his head and said "I'm going to keep her for you, Pol. I ain't gonna let her go just yet".

He then remained there looking at the sea for just a minute, before popping the locket back in his jacket and walking the long way round back to the bridge. To not only give him time to think, but avoid Ismay, and possibly meet Helen.

But with him he carried memories of his girls, girl's he would never hold again.

Never

_**I hope that is action-I will get to lots of action during the sinking-just bare with me though!**_


	23. 11:40

_**I've decided to skip quite a bit of time up to the point of the collision so a bit more reaction! Oh, sorry for the spelling mistake BTW Fomalhaut. Hope you enjoy!**_

Twenty-Three

April 14th

11:40pm

Henry had just lifted the razor blade to his cheek to shave the black stubble that was starting to show when a furious tremor shook the entire ship. Henry looked down at the porcelain bowl beneath him as the water inside it rippled with such a force.

It only lasted a few seconds but it was enough for Henry to wonder. What was it?

He placed the razor back on the desk and chucked the white towel over his shoulder, and in just trousers,shoes,shirt and suspenders he walked out into the corridoor.

He needn't have bothered to comb his hair, even if it was with his fingers, he reckoned he was the smartest looking of the officers who were leaning out of their cabins in wonder.

He eventually walked out onto the bridge, where Will was standing, he looked up at Henry and swallowed, he was a white as a sheet, his face ghostly in comparison to the dark grey he was wearing, sweat was beginning to dry on his brow and Will rasped weakly to Officer Moody "Note the time, enter it into the log"

Henry himself glanced at the clock ticking on the wall.11:40.Henry then slid up to Will as Jim scribbled something into the ship's log. "What's wrong?" Henry asked.

Will had just opened his mouth to speak when light from the Captain's quarter's flooded the bleak wheelhouse. Captain Smith walked out he turned to Will "What was that Mr. Murdoch?" he asked, eye's narrowed in concern.

"An iceburg, sir" Will's trembling voice cut through the cold air like a knife.

Henry, who had been studying the floor and his leather shoes up until that point, suddenly looked up, eyes bold and alert.

Smith too, was now fully awake and listening as his son-in-law explained what had happened.

"I ran her hard-to-starboard and ran the enginmes full astern, but it was too close. I tried to port round it but she hit and-" Will was interrupted as Smith ordered sternly "Close the water-tight doors" "The door are closed, Sir" Henry heard Will say as he followed them out onto the bridge wing.

As Will followed Smith around like a lap-dog, Henry stared in horror on the ice scattered on the forward well-deck, huge lumps of ice slowly melting on the deck.

Smith too, then turned onto the bridge, his eyes slowly widened and he said "Fetch the carpenter, get him to sound the ship"

"Yes, sir!" Will cried before dashing off.

Henry waited quietly next to his Captain, who slowly turned to him "Henry" he said.

Henry knew something must be terribly wrong,as Smtih never addressed him by his first name out on the bridge, "Yes, E.J?" he asked.

"I want you to dress yourself, then go and wake Mr. Lightoller, tell him to get dressed, and arouse the rest of the officers, after Charles is ready, you and him will go and fetch Mr. Ismay and Mr. Andrews and bring them here" Smtih said.

Henry nodded "Yes, sir" he turned to the wheelhouse and began to realise that if the ship's designer was being called to asses the ship as well as the carpenter, it was rather serious.

And as he turned into the coridoor it dawned on himthat he may never see home again.

_**There was gonna be more but I wanna save the Charles bit for the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!**_


	24. The Lovely Voice of CH Lightoller

_**New chapter! Hope you all enjoy!**_

Twenty-four

14th April

11:47pm

Henry took a deep breath before tapping on Charles' cabin door

When there was no answer, Henry twisted the handle and opened the door.

Charles then said "Didn't your mother tell you to knock before entering a room?", he was standing in the middle of the tiny room, hat askew on his head, thick grey jumper pulled up round his neck and black trousers hanging loosely at his legs, scuffed leather shoes pulled on his feet, a freshly lit smoke hanging from the corner of his mouth.

"I did knock" Henry replied simply "You didn't answer"

"Didn't I?" Charles gaped sarcastically "Well, I am sorry, Mr. Wilde"

"Don't treat this as a joke, Charles" Henry said sternly, his eyebrows knotting.

"Would I?" Charles grinned, his blue eyes flashing as he slipped past Henry and out into the coridoor. "Are we going to fetch Andrews and the little weedy man that is Mr. Ismay or not?"

"Fine" Henry rolled his eyes as he strode to catch up with Charles "But you're informing Ismay" he told Charles.

"Why me?" Charles asked.

"Because" Henry answered.

"Because what?" Charles asked again.

"I'm liable to knock his teeth out if I go and see him" Henry told Charles.

"Isn't everyone?" Charles said "Liable to knock his teeth out?"

"I'll knock your teeth out if you don't shut-up" Henry threatened.

"Why?" Charles asked

"Stop talking" Henry smiled as they turned into the first-cass entrance

"No" Charles grinned "I like the sound of my own voice"

"I worked that out for myself, thanks" Henry raised his eyebrows as they descended the first tier of the Grand staircase.

Charles grinned "But you have to admit, Henry, I do have a lovely voice"

"Of course you do Charles" Henry agreed as he reached the A deck landing and turned off to the coridoor that led to Helen's stateroom.

He tapped on the door and was genuinley surprised when Helen opened it.

"Henry" she smiled "Are you looking for Thomas?"

"Yes" Henry nodded.

Thomas then appeared, blueprints tucked under his arm, "I'm ready", "Good" Henry smiled "Captain's waiting for you up on the bridge. I'll be up there shortly, I just have to make sure Charles hasn't got lost"

Helen smiled at that and looked up to see Henry's seductive gaze pinned upon her as Thomas walked out of sight down the coridoor.

Henry then quickly stepped into the stateroom and shut the door.

He faced Helen as she asked "What's wrong?" worry flashing in her green eyes.

Henry breathed out and looked down "We've hit an iceberg" he mumbled gravely.

He slowly glanced up at Helen, her hands were gently covering her mouth, "No..." she trailled off "We couldn't have"

"We have" Henry nodded, he touched Helen's cheek "But I wouldn't worry your sweet head about it, my darling" he then gasped as found himself reciting the words he had said to Polly when he first left her for work after becoming a mother.

"I'm sorry" he laughed "You remind me of her so much. So very much" he then bent down and kissed her soft rosy lips, after pulling away he cupped her head in his hands and bent his head close to hers and whispered "I wouldn't worry about it. You are going to get off this Goddamned ship, you're going to live"

"What about you?" Helen asked.

Henry' lips twitched into a frown, "I don't know" he said honestly "I guess you could say this would be the perfect oppurtunity to leave it all behind, but when I think about it, I can't leave my kids, but when I think about it again, I've got to do my duty and my job. Which is to sacrifice my life for other peoples"

Helen smiled sweetly as Henry reached for the door, he then squeezed her hands "You will live" he smiled "Trust me"

"Okay" Helen looked down as he closed the door behind him and walked down the coridoor.

As he left she collapsed onto the sofa, what would she do. Would she follow her intincts and stay with her husband, the father of her daughter, would she betray her husband and run into the Dreamcatcher's arms, or would she do as Henry had instructed her and believ in him?

As she looked up, she realised it would be no help to anyone if she stayed onboard if the ship did sink. So she decided to betray her instincts and listen to what her heart told her.

And that was to believe the Dreamcatcher.

_**Hope yopu enjoy! Will be back with action in 25!**_


	25. Coward Doesn't Suit Me, Will

_**Hope you enjoy, guys! Written to "Taking Over Me" by Evanescence! Am adding the lyrics for the sake of it I LOVE this song!**_

_you don't remember me but i remember you_

_i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you_

_but who can decide what they dream?_

_and dream i do..._

_i believe in you_

_i'll give up everything just to find you_

_i have to be with you to live to breathe_

_you're taking over me_

_have you forgotten all i know_

_and all we had?_

_you saw me mourning my love for you_

_and touched my hand_

_i knew you loved me then_

_i believe in you_

_i'll give up everything just to find you_

_i have to be with you to live to breathe_

_you're taking over me_

_i look in the mirror and see your face_

_if i look deep enough_

_so many things inside that are just like you are taking over_

_i believe in you_

_i'll give up everything just to find you_

_i have to be with you to live to breathe_

_you're taking over me_

_i believe in you_

_i'll give up everything just to find you_

_i have to be with you to live to breathe_

_you're taking over me_

_Taking over me_

_Your Taking Over Me_

_Taking over me_

_Taking over me_

_**Here We Go!**_

Twenty-Five

14th April 1912

00:10 am

Henry strode over to the nearest lifeboat and pulled himself up by the falls and onto the davit's so he was observing the sailors swinging out the boats below. He hadn't been called back to the bridge so obviously nothing major had happened, or so he thought.

"Officer Wilde" a sailor called his name, Henry turned, blue eyes fixed on one of the lookouts, Reginald Lee, who had been on duty when the iceberg struck.

"Yes, Lee?" Henry asked, jumping off the top off the davits and walking over.

"Captain want's you and Mr. Lightoller up on the bridge, he say's it's urgent"Lee informed him gravely.

Henry nodded and looked back to where Charles' was barking orders to the sailors, overseeing the swinging out of the boats. "Charles" Henry cried, his throat crackling and his breath forming clouds in the night air as he shouted above the roar of the funnel's "We've been called back"

Charles nodded and jogged up to him "D'you reckon it's bad?" he asked as they both walked briskly to the bridge .

Henry shrugged "Dunno. But from the ice on the forward well-deck it doesn't look like just a bump"

"Didn't feel like it either" Charles said, rubbing his left shoulder.

As Henry and Charles instictivley turned into the chartroom, they heard Will whisper "2,200 souls onboard, sir",Charles came and stood just behind Will and Henry leaned on the doorway, they watched as Smith turned to a horrified looking Ismay, blue eye's misted, "I believe you may get your headlines, Mr. Ismay".

Henry's eyes travelled to Thomas, the master shipbuilder hung his head, eyes closed, and let his hand carelessly slip off the table. Ismay's stern eyes turned to Thomas, before saying "You're sure? You're absolutley sure?", Thomas looked up, tears beginning to sparkle the edge of his sky blue eyes "Yes" he nodded "Absolutely".

Ismay's moustache twitched before turning on Will and bellowing "This was your fault!"

"What?!" Will exclaimed "What are you-", Ismay interrupted him and said "If you'd have paid more attention you would have seen the iceberg before she hit! Before the ship hit" Before_ MY_ ship hit"

"Wait, hold on!" Chatrles butted in "It could have-", he too, was interrupted by Ismay's raving "Think of the papers! What will they say? Think of the public! What will they think of me? My reputation as manager of the White Star Line will be ruined!Ruined!"

Henry couldn't take it anymore so he shouted "Listen to yourself" he slid past Will so he was nose to nose with Ismay "You think you're the only one that matters in all this, don't you? But guess what,_ Joseph_? You're not! You're going to get off the bloody ship alive and the likes of us, the likes of the steerage passengers, won't survive, but you, you'll go back to your fancy mansion and 12-course dinners, me. And me, Will, Harry, Jim, Charles even, we won't survive. We won't see home again, okay, maybe the younger ones might, but us senior lot, NAH! We'll be _dead_ by the morning"

Ismay's gaping mouth slowly closed and turned into a sly smile "And this is what you've been waiting for for near two years, isn't it Mr. Wilde. An oppurtunity to end it all without making it look deliberate"

Henry raised his chin "You know what? You're right. I have been waiting for an oppurtunity to end it all without making it look deliberate, and, well, tonight I may get my chance. But if I do go down with this ship, at least I won't be branded a coward and be sworn at and be slurred at in the papers for the remainder of my days, I may not be branded a hero, but I'd rather be dead than have the word 'COWARD' stamped across my forehead" he finished with a sharp nod and turned and walked out of the wheelhouse and back out into the night.

He stopped at the bridge wing and leaned out over the side, observing the steerage passengers kicking the ice about, and he didn't look up as he heard Will "Wow, I know you can hold your own against anyone, but I never knew it could be like that!, Henry smiled "But he really was asking for it", "Suppose" Will agreed "And, errr, thanks for standing up for me in there, I could have done it on my own, but-", "Don't worry. Wherever he's concerned I'd defend anyone he was accusing" Henry said. "Even Lights?" Will asked.

"Yes" Henry laughed "Even Lights".

Will then bent down "Henry, do you think we really will die tonight?" his green eyes had a serious gleam to them in the dark of the midnight.

Henry paused then slowly nodded "I know for a fact that I am. But on the whole, I think our lot will have the honour and decency to stay onboard till the end even if they do survive by the skin of their teeth, but me, I'm gonna go down tonight, but I'm gonna go down like a sailor. And I'm not gonna be branded a coward, unlike _some_ people" he raised his eyebrows as Ismay walked out of the wheelhouse in his striped dressing gown, only stopping to glare at Henry.

Henry held his gaze before turning back to Will "No, Will. I don't think coward suit's me"

"Hero, more like" Will smiled.Henry shook his head "Maybe"

_**Hope you like! More to come!**_


	26. History's Most Memorable Night

_**Getting to the nitty gritty now folks! Hope you enjoy! Written to this song by The Calling:**_

_I am a vision_

_I am justice_

_Never thought that I could love_

_Living in shadows_

_Fading existance_

_It was never good enough_

_Within the darkness_

_You are the light that shines the way_

_But you're trapped in violence_

_I can be the man who saves the day_

_I'm there for you_

_No matter what_

_I'm there for you_

_Never giving up_

_I'm there for you_

_For You_

_Someone's changed me_

_Something's saved me_

_And this is who I am_

_Although I was blinded _

_My heart let me find out_

_That truth makes a better man_

_I didn't notice_

_That you were right in front of me_

_Our masks of silence_

_We'll put away so we can see_

_I'm there for you_

_No matter what_

_I'm there for you_

_Never giving up_

_I'm there for you_

_For You_

_Within the darkness_

_You are the light that shines a way_

_In this blind justice_

_I can be that man who saves the day_

_I'm there for you_

_No matter what_

_I'm there for you_

_Never giving up_

_Cause you know it's true_

_You were there for me_

_And I'm there for you_

_For you_

_For you_

_For you_

_**Let's begin! N:B: Helen does have a son-again!**_

Twenty-Six

15th April 1912

00:30 am

Henry sighed again and leaned back against the wall, he breathed out and watched his breath form white clouds in the freezing night air, slowly dancing in the light breeze before dissolving into the wind.

He watched, his eyebrows raised. _If only life were that easy_, Henry he told himself _If only i could disappear_

He suddenly smiled to himself as he remembered Freddie's parting words "If you ever die on a ship, Dad, don't worry, I'll look after the girls for you"

He sighed deeply before saying "Yeah, they'll be safe, Pol" he raised his head to the night sky and the twinkling stars above, and he was sure that his girl was watching him from up there.

"They'll be safe, needn't worry about that" he tried to persuade himself as he began the slow walk back to the bridge.

As he walked aft from where he had been at the stern, he had tried to avoid questioning passengers. But he looked up as he heard the sound of running footsteps and before he knew what had hit him, a black cloaked figure had run into him. And it was only then he recognised her by the brown curls.

"Helen" he exclaimed, he pulled away to reveal her face, a tear stained face with big, wide, dark emerald eyes.

He gently led her back behind the wall where he had been standing and took her hands in his. When he noticed her trembling, perhaps of fear, perhaps of the cold, he ran a hand down her face and kissed her lightly.

As he parted from her, she finally found her voice "What's going on?"

Henry sighed, he had to tell her the truth, "Helen..." he pulled away realising that what he would say next would lead to another inevitable truth "..she will sink" as he saw the horror cross her face, he continued "Yes, she is going to sink".

"What about you?" she asked, her eyes turning serious "What's going to happen to you?"

Henry laughed "I'm going to die, ain't I?" when he saw Helen open her mouth again he quickly added "My time's come, it's come many times before but I've managed to side step it. This time, I'm not gonna do that".

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes as he said "And...another thing..." he looked up his eyes grave "..I'm not going to let you grieve for two men...tonight your going to grieve for Thomas and only Thomas...not for me"

As Helen realised what he was saying she shook her head "Don't do this, please!" As he turned to leave she took his hand "Henry..." she whispered, only speaking again as his eyes met hers, "...I love you"

Henry turned and muttered "Helen...I've learnt in life you can't love more than two people at once" as he turned again Helen choked, almost in tears "But I do, Henry! I love you!"

Henry knew what he was going to say before he even said it "But I still love Polly"

Before guilt had a chance to kick in, Henry strode away from a broken Helen and made his way round to the bridge.

It was true what he said. He could never let Polly go. And out here, at the hour of his death and reunion with her, he finally realised how much.

As he was assigned tasks by the Captain, he thought of his life and what he had wasted. And after adjusting the cap on his head he walked out into the starlight, and into what would become one of the most memrable nights in history.

_**It was meant to be longer but I hope you all like!**_


	27. The Truth about Henry Tingle Wilde

_**RIGHT! This is in Henry's POV as he begins to lower the boats and ends as he has to go down and take charge of the unruly third-class passengers! Hope you enjoy! **_

Twenty-Seven

15th April

1:10am

I thought these eye's had seen everything.

Birth.

Growth.

Happiness.

Love.

Fear.

and Death.

I'm wrong. I haven't seen everything. That's what I thought as I invited women and children of all shapes and sizes from First-Class into the first of the lifeboats to be lowered on the starboard side of the ship.

This was wrong. At a time when saving people meant more the one's place in the social food-chain, the likes of Bruce Ismay were insisting that the Second- and Third-Classes were kept below.

I was nothing but polite. That was my job. I smiled at gentlemen as they helped their spouses into the lifeboat, I gave my hand to lone women struggling to make the significant step from the secure boatdeck to the floor of a unsteady dingy hanging in mid-air. And I gave a reassuring smile to the sons and daughters that went with them.

I scanned the boat and turned to the seamen at my side. "Ready?" I asked.

They nodded.

And, with waving men and boys behind me, I lifted my arms and cried "LOWER AWAY!". As my arms came down, I heard the meatl boat hinges shudder and the boats residents gasp a little, as they made the long decent to the dark water below.

"Steady, lads!" I cried, my keen eyes always watching the boat to see whether one side was being lowered faster than the other.

Luckily, it all went smoothly, and I felt a sigh of relief fight to escape my lips as I heard the man in charge of the little boat cry up to me "We're all down, sir"

I leaned over the side and looked at him, I gave a surefire nod and replied to him "Right, go on and get away from this Goddamn ship!". The sailor nodded up at me "God be with you, Sir!" he cried.

I nodded, before saluting and then returning to my full height, I strode off, muttering under my breath "It's gonna take a lot more than God to get me though tonight"

I finally came round to my senses when Charles' long face, unnaturally high cheekbones and ice blue eyes walked into me.

"What?" I asked.

"Captain want's to see you" Charles cocked his head towards Smith's closed ofice door behind the wheelhouse.

"What about the boats?" I enquired.

"I'll get 'em sorted" Charles said, brushing past me.

I walked into the office, Smith was staring out the window at the commotion on the port side of the boatdeck, a glass of whiskey in hand.

He turned to me as I walked in. He glanced at another glass on the desk "It's for you" he said blankly, his voice portraying no emotion as he turned back to the window.

I reached for it, and immediatley, when my long fingers grasped the glass, I felt the deep orange liquid touch my lips.

"Charles said you wanted to see me" I said, slowly edging my way to Smith's side.

He sighed deeply, and he removed his hat, and, suddenly, I realised, that he looked significantly older at that moment than he ever did before.

The white hairs on his head were now whiter than they'd ever been, his blue eyes were dull and sullen from giving up the fight, the lines on his face were more prominent and his voice cracked with age as he said "We're going to die tonight, Henry"

I shifted, uneasily, not saying anything.

He looked down "After all my time at sea. I'll never see home again." He turned to me "Don't suppose theirs much of a chance that you'll see it either. Is there?"

"No, sir" I smiled weakly "Not much of a chance at all"

He was about to say something else. But a steward pushed the door open, we turned toward him.

He was panting as he stumbled into the room, "Forgive me, sir" he said as he caught his breath back "But, it's the steerage passengers, they're out of control"

"You've kept them locked up haven't you?" Smith asked.

"Yes, sir. We need someone to keep them in check, to sort them out"

Smith turned to me. I knew what was coming next, so I finished my drink and after placing it back on the desk I said "I'll go. Charles' is fine on his own and it won't take me all night to sort out steerage passengers will it?"

"No, Mr.Wilde" Smith nodded.

As the steward walked off ahead of me, I quietly grabbed Smith's arm and asked "How long have we got?"

Smith looked grave "Less than two hours"

_Two Hours_

As I descended the last set of steps that led down to steerage and began to weave through the deserted corridoors of second-class, I wondered, now that we had less than two hours to live, I had less than two hours to write to my children and tell them the whole truth.

The truth abut Henry Tingle Wilde.

_**HOPE YOU ENJOY! Please read and review! Thi'll be my last chapter for a couple of weeks as I am going camping for 2 weeks.And I'll update specially on my birthday the 9th August! See ya when I get back!**_


	28. Henry's Final Kiss

_**HEY! I'm back after my break! Right! Written to "Last Night" by Skillet (GREAT SONG!!) BTW, if there is anyone who's interested can u plz R+R my new fic "No-One Lies to Jack" its about Jack the Ripper. Cheers. This is slightly longer for me considering I haven't updated in a while**_

Twenty-Eight

April 15th 1912

1:30am

After swiftly sorting out the steerage passengers, Henry had returned to the chaos on the boat deck.

Charles, uncharacteristically, was being very "follow the rules" about the whole affair, making sure women and children, and ONLY women and children stepped into his boat. Shoving men back into the crowd, Charles raised his pistol and fired two shots, "GET BACK!" he cried, his voice beginning to crack.

Henry slid round one man, grabbed Charles' upper arm and hissed into his ear "What are you doing?", "My job" Charles smirked, snatching his arm back, "Which is more than can be said for you……" he broke sentence as a life-belted Thomas Andrews stepped up to Charles ", why are the boats being launched half-full?", even now, Charles pretended to be oblivious to his criticisms, criticisms which could cost lives, "Not now Mr. Andrews!" Charles snapped, "There! LOOK!" Thomas pointed to a boat just out at sea, Henry too, turned his head and was shocked to see not even 30 people in the boat. "20 or so….in a boat built for 65!" Thomas bellowed, Charles opened his mouth to speak, but Thomas caught him "And in one boat I saw 12! TWELVE!", Charles finally managed to come up with an answer "We weren't sure of the weight, Mr. Andrews, these boats may buckle" having finally regained his authority, Charles finished his sentence with a raise of his chin and eyebrows. "RUBBISH! These boats were tested in Belfast with the weight of 70 men! Now fill these boats, Mr. Lightoller, for God's sake man!", a defeated Charles turned, and only Henry noticed the lowering of his eyes and the slight sigh that escaped Charles' normally stiff and emotionally drained lips. He then looked up at the boat that was bobbing gently out in the Atlantic. He breathed out deeply, clouds forming in the freezing night air, he turned and rasped "Please, I need more women and children, please" he began to help women and children into the boat.

Henry watched Thomas with keen eyes as he lingered by the crowds, before saying something inaudible to Henry's ears and wandering off, as the crowds began to thin out, Henry was surprised as Helen suddenly was in front of him.

"Helen…."Henry whispered, going to touch her cheek. She turned and put a finger to his lips, cocking her head to the maid that carried baby Edward and the governess that had taken charge of little Elizabeth. "I had to see you before the end" she said, her eyes red from crying, the tear trails, still wet, shone upon her cheeks.

"Where's your necklace?" she asked, looking at his bare right hand which usually held Polly's locket.

"Ah….." Henry looked down "…I must have lost it in steerage." He closed his eyes "I was gonna give it to Sarah, but…there's not much chance of that now"

"Isn't there?" Helen asked, pressing something into his hand.

Henry opened his eyes and inside his open palm, lay Polly's locket, "Where……" he stuttered "How……"

Helen shrugged "A stewardess of mine picked it up"

Henry broke a smile, and nearly crying he said "Thank you"

"No, Henry" Helen smiled, pushing up on her toes and kissing him on the cheek. "Thank _you_" she whispered.

As she lowered herself back down he bent and kissed her on the lips. Her perfume leaving a lingering scent on his lips. His lowered eyes were gentle and loving as he caressed her cheeks.

"Go on" he said

Helen smiled as they parted the way they had met, he raised her hand and kissed it "Farewell, Mrs. Andrews" Henry smiled, a formal goodbye to a bittersweet and all too tragic romance. Their final kiss.

As Helen stepped back into the crowd, Henry turned and smiled once more at the locket in his hand. He closed his palm and placed the necklace inside his pocket. Before walking round to the Officer's Quarters. Which had now been almost totally deserted.

He walked into his cabin, shut the door, and sighed. He then turned his bleak eyes to the little bundle of letters on the table. After placing Polly's locket into the letter addressed to Sarah, he planted a kiss on the letters.

Henry's final kiss.

_**Hope you enjoyed. Give me your answer, shall I kill Mr Wilde off next chapter, or wait a couple of chapters?**_


	29. Can You Do Something For Me, Helen?

_**Sorry! Haven't updated in ages! But here is my new chapter. Hope you enjoy!**_

Twenty-Nine

April 14th

1: 35am

Helen had changed her mind. She didn't want to get off.

She wanted to stay.

With Thomas.

Helen turned to her daughter after kissing her baby boy goodbye, too young to properly understand what was happening, Beth kept asking Miss Lane, her governess, "Where's Daddy?".

The child held out her arms as Helen picked her up "Listen to me, darling, listen. You are going to be a big brave girl for me, aren't you?"

Beth nodded, not really knowing the meaning of the word, as Helen continued "You're going to be a good girl, for Mamma, and you're going to go on the boat, with Cathy and Miss Lane and Edward and wait until the ship is better".

"What about Daddy?" Beth asked.

"Sweetie…Daddy….." Helen trailed off, she swallowed hard "Mamma will find Daddy for you, yes, sweetie, you will see him in the morning". Pulling her daughters head to her chest, Helen kissed her child's downy hair and passed her back to Miss Lane.

"Ma'm, please, come with us" the young governess begged as she was shoved into the boat with other passengers.

Helen grabbed her hand just in time "Pray for my soul, Belinda, pray for me and Thomas. Look after the children for me and tell them…." She felt tears begin to fall "…..tell them Mamma will always love them!"

She gasped suddenly as she lost grip on Belinda's palm. She waved to her children and blew Beth kisses as people around her waved their loved ones off, for most probably the last time.

* * *

Henry ran a hand through thick black hair.

The steerage passengers had gotten through the gates thanks to a couple of rebellious individuals, and they had now flooded the starboard side.

Henry had the tough task of holding them back with little more than a hand pistol and a loud voice as Will crammed as many bodies as he could into one of the remaining lifeboats before the collapsible boats would have to be bought into action.

Henry did a double take when he noticed Ismay hurrying people into the boat. Was this for real? Or was it a scheme to make it look like he cared?

As Will turned to shout for any more, Henry's blood ran cold as he saw Ismay hob nimbly into the lifeboat. Henry opened his mouth to protest, but was surprised when no words came out. He follow Will with his eyes as the First Officer turned back to the waiting lifeboat.

Seeing Ismay, Will simply gave a deep sigh, raised his arms and said softly through frozen lips "Take them down!".

As Ismay was lowered beyond the boat deck, Henry could only gawp. Why had Will let him do that? Why?

Will turned as the boat was cast off, and walked solemnly up to Henry, "Why?" Henry asked "Why d'you let him go?".

Will sighed again "Henry, there's lives needing to be saved".

"Yeah, and his ain't one of them" Henry protested.

Will held his hands up defensively "I want to get on with my job, Henry, and I can't do that with Ismay around. So…" he shrugged as he moved onto the final solid lifeboat.

Henry shook his head, before turning back to the passengers, who had now flocked to where Will was tackling the davits.

The letters for his family were brushing his shirt. It tore at Henry's heart to think of his children's faces when a bundle of letters returned home rather than the father that they so cherished.

He closed his eyes.

He had to find her.

* * *

Helen was so desperate to find her husband that she had decided to run through the halls. Not caring who or what got in her way.

Bursting into their deserted stateroom, she found nothing to suggest her husband had been here recently. But she did find Beth's teddy bear. Picking up the scruffy animal, she placed it delicately in her shawl, keeping it safe for her daughter.

She had just gently closed her stateroom door when she finally spotted Thomas.

It was unmistakably him. Greying hair, white lifebelt strapped to his lean, long body.

He was shouting into a stateroom. But before Helen could reach him, she saw a flash of red, and all of a sudden, that Rose girl was talking to him.

She looked flustered, and Helen was still quite a distance from the two of them, so she let Rose give what looked like a garbled speech to her husband.

Thomas began to walk with her, talking to the girl in a low, soft voice.

Helen then decided to run. She needed to be held by him one last time; forever.

"Thomas!" Helen exclaimed as she ran up to him.

"Helen!" Thomas sounded surprised as he turned round suddenly to find his wife in front of him.

Catching her in his arms, he said "Hel…Helen…what…..what are you doing? You should be on the boat! Why aren't you with the children?".

He paused, "The children. Are the children on a lifeboat, Helen?" he asked bluntly, looking his wife in the eyes.

"YES!" Helen cried, "Yes, yes, yes. The children are in the boat, Thomas!".

"Then, why aren't you?" Thomas' voice was gentle, as he gripped her upper arms tightly.

"Because….because…because I want to die with you!" Helen spoke her mind.

Thomas' gaze fell past her face.

"See" she swallowed "I knew..I knew you weren't going to even try to escape, no matter what you told me…." She sobbed "No matter what you told our daughter!".

Thomas was close to crying himself as he said, his voice barely a whisper, "I have to stay. I caused this…this mess…I am the one responsible. Not you…Helen, not you" he ran a hand down Helen's soft cheek "You're going to listen to me, Helen, you're going to go up to the boat deck, find a boat, and get off this damned ship. If not for yourself…then, for me"

"I love you" Helen rasped, throwing herself into her husband's arms, as he held her, she mumbled "I will always always love you, Tommy, always". "I love you too, Helen" Thomas whispered, kissing her forehead "Don't you ever cry for me, will you?".

Helen had no reply to that, so she pulled away and looked her husband in the eyes. "I won't ever forget you, you'll always be here.." she pulled his hand up to her chest "Here, safely locked in my heart".

Thomas smiled, before his gaze was quickly transferred to someone beyond Helen.

"Officer" he said simply.

Helen closed her eyes as that voice once again melted her skin "Can I speak with Helen?"

Thomas flashed his gaze to Helen, who turned on her heel and said "How can I help, Henry?"

Henry nodded and aked "Can you do something, for me, Helen? Something very important".

_**Hope you all enjoyed. Next chapter will be out soon!**_


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